Page 71 of It Should Have Been Me

She gasps when we step out into the late afternoon sun. “Wow, Scott! This is beautiful. And the view of the ocean from up here is just breathtaking.”

Astroturf is laid across the whole floor and a few potted plants are neatly lined up against one side. Wooden panels cover the existing concrete walls, and I’ve draped them with fairy lights, which gives everything a relaxed Zen sort of vibe. The whole set up just proves that I did learnonegood thing from my mother.

“Is this an inflatable pool?” she asks, kneeling beside it. Lifting the brown throw blanket that covers it, she sneaks a peak. “Yep, that’s an inflatable pool.”

“What? It’s the same comfort for a fifth of the cost.”

She still looks skeptical. “I doubt that.”

“Don’t bash it ‘til you try it.”

She hands me her plate, then gets in. After shifting the plush throw pillows around, she leans back and lets out a satisfied sigh. “You. Are. Right!” She stretches her arms out along the back and soaks in the late afternoon sun. “This is so comfortable. I could fall asleep right here.”

I hand her the plates before I get in. “Don’t doubt me next time. I used to live in the lap of luxury and a spoiled brat on a budget can be very innovative.”

“Look at you living a bougie lifestyle on a basic bank account.”

I sit back against the opposite side, stretching my legs to prop my feet up on the other side. “Well, it was either this or selling my kidney. And I’m saving the latter for when I upgrade to a king-size bed.”

We eat as we watch the sun sink lower in the sky, listening to the sound of the waves in the distance. Our outdoor ceiling is an ever-changing array of colors. Bursts of pink. Streaks of orange and blue. The same colors are painted over the ocean. As it gets darker, the fairy lights turn on automatically and cast a warm yellow glow on the wooden walls.

“This is magical,” Cat says. “It’s beautiful...and peaceful. This whole day has just been incredible.”

She says it with the sort of wonderment that seems misplaced considering all the places she’s been and all the sights she’s seen. It’s just a quiet, uneventful dinner in an inflatable pool on my rooftop.

I look around to make sure I haven’t missed anything extraordinary because her behavior is a little weird. “I’m sure you’ve experienced more spectacular moments than this.”

“You would think so. I thought so too...but being up here withyou...” She meets my eyes, and I can tell she’s blinking back tears, though I’m not sure why. “It’s making me doubt that.”

She leaves that cryptic comment hanging in the air for a few seconds before she shakes it off and resumes the conversation as if it wasn’t said at all.

14. Scott

I’m not sure if I’mangry or confused. That’s still up for debate. What I do know with certainty is that I’m frustrated. Cat left here on Friday night but then started texting me as soon as she got home. She spent the weekend with her family, but that didn’t halt the texting. In fact, on Saturday, it continued until two in the morning.

I was sort of okay with that, but then yesterday morning, she showed up at my place again fully kit in running gear. We went for a run. As soon as we got back, she showered, then cooked, then spent theentireafternoon here. She left after four and that was only because Isa was done at the dressmaker and Cat needed to get home before Isa got there. Today, same thing. The only difference was that after she showered, we went to the shelter to pick up Rocky, and she played with him all afternoon.

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