Page 27 of It Should Have Been Me

“Wow!” He shakes his head. “My mind is still reeling. Teachers are so underpaid. Let’s move on before I start getting angry about the disparities in the world. What about food? Can you choose a favorite food?”

“I’ve been all over the world...and my mom’s cooking is still the best. I can give you my worst, though. Tarantulas. JP and I went to the Amazon and these things are everywhere, so they catch them, then throw them in some batter and fry them.” I shiver with repulsion just thinking about it. “And JP made me try it. Ihatedit.”

“Tarantulas? How does it taste?”

“Uh...it’s like a mixture of chicken...and cod, which is weird. The legs are kinda crispy, but the body...” I try to suppress a gag reflex as I remember the texture. “...is soft and fleshy, so yeah, it’s chicken-y. You’d probably love it.”

His face scrunches with disgust. “Nope! I would never even go to the Amazon, let alone eat the spiders there.”

I smile, a sad smile, because he just highlighted another reason why we just couldn’t make it work, why us breaking up was so necessary. Scott has the brain of a mathematician. He analyzes everything, statistically weighing up the odds before he does anything. While he’s always open to trying something different, certain things are just a flat-out no for him.

Maybe that’s not even his math brain talking. Maybe that’s the spoiled brat in him that simply hates the wilderness because it lacks all modern luxuries and conveniences. This is one of the crucial differences between him and JP. JP needs no convincing for anything. If I said let’s go bungee jumping at Niagara Falls, JP would already be booking our flight tickets. That’s how we initially became travel buddies. Anything I suggested, he just jumped straight in without question.

“How did you even make it through that trip?” Scott asks. “I would’ve thought the idea of roaming anacondas would freak you the fuck out. We’ve watched hundreds of horror movies together and you couldn’t even make it throughAnacondabecause you were scared of thefictionalsnakes.”

“It did freak me out!” I’m giggling because he knows me so well. “I canceled the tour after the first day, but the point is I experienced it.”

There’s silence for a beat before he gives me a sideways glance. “You’re so different. You’re not the same person I remember. You’ve changed so much...in a good way. You’re more confident and self-assured. It’s nice to see. You’ve just...blossomed into this incredible woman, Cat.”

A small smile plays on my lips. “Thank you, but I don’t feel like I’ve changed at all.”

“You wouldn’t because in all the ways that matter, you’re still the same. You’re still caring, still feisty, still savage...but with everything else, you’ve changed.”

“How so?”

“Well, for starters, you don’t speak Spanish anymore. I was expecting you to cuss me out in Spanish when we were arguing yesterday, and you didn’t.”

“I still speak...” I try to think of the last time I spoke in my mother tongue, and I can’t even remember. I think I’ve uttered a phrase here or there over a video chat with my family, but that’s about it. “You’re right. I haven’t spoken Spanish in a while because no one I know understands it. Please don’t say that’s the only thing, because then that’s just upsetting.”

“You’re also...You’re a little stiff.”

“Stiff?” My mouth drops open in shock. “I’m not stiff!”

“Yeah, you’re a little stiff,” he counters with a chuckle. “I mean, you’re so poised and professional now. You don’t use any curse words. In fact, you seem like the new you would get offended by the way the old you used to speak. You’re...you’re stiff.”

I’m speechless for a moment. “I’m...a little offended by that statement.”

“Don’t be. It wasn’t an insult, just an observation. And it’s easy to see because I haven’t matured one bit. I’m in the company of sixteen-year-olds all day whose only mission in life is to get Mr. Arnold to sit on a whoopie cushion.”

“Kids still do that?”

“Yep. In all fairness, they only did it because we had a bet going. I made it a geometry problem. The terms were that they had to get the whoopie cushion onto his chair while he was still standing in front of the class. The student distracting him had to be at the right angle so that he didn’t see the other student in his peripheral vision. The distraction could only be in the form of a question asked in his class. No big movements or anything out of the ordinary.”

“Very creative,” I say with a giggle. “And you didn’t feel bad for making this Mr. Arnold guy the butt of your prank?”

“Nope. He told me that math was a subject that was impossible to make fun, and that most students never apply it in their real lives. I think you can imagine my level of gloating when my students finally got it right.”

I laugh again. “You are so petty when it comes to things like that.”

“Yeah, that’s my level of maturity. You, though?” He sneaks another peek in my direction. “You’re...I don’t know, you’ve matured from life and experiences. When we first started hanging out, you were so overburdened. You had all this weight on your shoulders and now...you’re just embracing everything. It’s pretty remarkable to see that kind of change. You have this gleam in your eyes that shows how happy you are to be living your dream.”

“I have you to thank for that.”

“Yeah.” He drops his head to look at the sand, not wanting me to see the hurt on his face. “But who am I? I’m just your friend from high school, right?”

“Scott—”

He ignores me and stands up. “C’mon, let’s go for a walk.”

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