Page 7 of It Should Have Been Me

I think about it for a second. “Sure,” I reply, then hang up.

I’m stunned for a few seconds, sitting there trying to absorb this new information. I thought I had a few more weeks to prepare myself. I’m not ready to see her again and yet...I’mdyingto see her again.

Peter keeps wary eyes on me as I stand up and drop a few bills on the table. “You heard him. Just let me do it. I’ll pick her up and take her home...and then you can just avoid her until the wedding.”

I glare at him. “Really? That’s your plan?”

“I’ll go.” Peter stands up as well, taking his car keys out of his pocket.

“No.”

“This is a very bad idea, Scott.”

“Yeah, I know that.” My hands are trembling. I’m so restless, and my throat is closing in on me. “But, Pete, you gotta understand. One day Cat got on a plane and on that day, I fully expected to be right back at the airport a few weeks later to pick her up. That day never came. I just...I just want to see her again...as myex. I need to getthatmoment over and done with as quickly as possible, then maybe this whole wedding will stop feeling so...unbearable.”

He relents and lets out a heavy breath. “Okay. You do what you gotta do.”

4. Catalina

Even though I’m a thousandpercent sure I dozed off for most of that twelve-hour flight, I’m still exhausted when the plane finally lands in Los Angeles. I drag my weary body down the narrow aisle and my legs feel like lead as I walk through to baggage collection. It’s only three in the afternoon, but my eyes seem to think it’s one in the morning. They’re sore and heavy, craving sleep. I spot my huge suitcase and it takes a few tries before I manage to drag it off the carousel. Pressing the button to release the handle, I begin rolling it as best I can. It seemed practical to have one big bag for my extended stay, but as I lug this overweight monstrosity toward the exit, I realize I should have just packed three outfits in an overnight bag and used Isa’s clothes for the rest of the trip.

The wheel of my case snags on the edge of the automatic sliding door, and even after pulling a few times, it doesn’t dislodge. I almost stomp my foot like a spoiled child. I’m tired, and I just want to find Dylan and get the hell out of here. I don’t have the energy to fight with a door right now. I shift my bag a little, then try again.

“Let me help you with that.”

Shit!I know that voice. I know the smell of that spicy cologne. And when his hand covers mine, the warmth of his skin is all too familiar. I turn to look behind me and there he is. Scott Carter. Effortlessly gorgeous Scott Carter. Absolutely swoon-worthy Scott Carter. Shattered-me-to-pieces Scott Carter. Five years is a long time and those years have matured his features, making them more rugged and defined.

My heart drops and bursts at the same time. I feel like I’m hyperventilating and yet I don’t think I’m breathing at all. I was not prepared for this. In no way, shape or form was I equipped to handle the assault of all our memories. In that one moment, I see our entire past and the future we’ll never have.

This guy used to make me laugh until my sides hurt. This guy used to kiss me like he needed me more than the air in his lungs. This guy used to hold on to me like I was his whole world. This guy used to...bemine,and my brain can’t seem to wrap around the fact that he’s not anymore. This is precisely the reason why I always told my mother to keep my visits back home a secret. I’ve purposely and tactfully avoided him for years. I couldn’t take the thought of seeing him again because I guess deep down, I knew I’d feel like this. Just the sight of him is so unexpected and overwhelming that I’m pushed to the brink of tears.

I don’t know if he feels the same, but for several seconds he just stands there frozen, his sapphire-blue eyes caressing my face. “Hi,” he says softly.

That tiny syllable drags me back five years, sucking me into the past and reminding me of a time when my heart belonged to only him.

“Hi.” It comes out as a breathy sigh because my voice is constricted behind the hard lump in my throat.

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