Page 18 of It Should Have Been Me

I hang up and groan my frustration. Well, so much for avoiding her. After yesterday, I decided to take Pete’s advice and not go anywhere near her unless it was absolutely necessary. Seeing her again stirred up every kind of emotion, and I’m not sure what to do with all that. I don’t resent her for the choices she’s made. I’m happy that she’s happy, but shit, I am so angry. Not at her...maybe at her. I don’t know.

I’m angry because no matter what I did, it wasn’t enough for her. I’m angry with all the excuses she made. I’m angry because I’m still so fucking twisted over this woman five years later and her new boyfriend doesn’t even know I exist. I’m that insignificant to her. I didn’t come up in a single conversation?

When I think about all the shit I had to deal with because of Cameron...How is it possible that I never once came up?

People talk about their exes, right? It’s a topic of discussion. Were you in love before? Any long-term relationships? Those are standard questions people ask when they’re getting to know the other person. And I was never mentioned? Even random questions. What was high school like for you? Pretty sure I would be somewhere in that answer. In a bad way, but still there. How did you start selling your sculptures? Gee, I wonder who helped her with that?

Cat has made a success of herself all on her own, but I think I deserve the tiniest amount of credit for introducing her to Connor, who then put her in contact with the woman who helped Cat get her internship. But it’s like I never existed. She justMen-In-Blacked me out of her life. Pressed a little button on the neuralyzer, zapped herself with a blinding light, and then boom...all memories of me disappeared. Three fucking years and...poof—gone. I never happened.

I shake off my irritation as I walk to the showers at the back of the gym, gulping down a protein shake. Forty-five minutes later, I’m parked outside the boutique, clenching my hands around the steering wheel. I just have to get used to this. I can’t avoid her. Dylan and Keith are a big part of my life, and seeing them will most likely entail seeing her. Just a few weeks, then she’ll leave again, and things will go back to normal.

I walk in, take one look at her, and audibly groan. Fuck. My. Life! Yesterday I felt a little more in control, like I had a handle on the situation. Apart from the unexpected declaration about me...wishing we were still together, I managed to keep myself composed (sort of). It was relatively easy because she was wearing a pair of blue skinny jeans and a loose-fitting white shirt. The straight hair was also a bit of a shock. So were the auburn highlights. She looked casual yet sophisticated, very different from the hip-hop hobo I used to know, and that change in her appearance led to a disconnect in my brain. I didn’t see her as quite the same person, and that worked for me...yesterday.

Today, I can still see some very explicit differences from the girl I used to know, but today there is no disconnect. My brain is rapidly firing messages straight to my lower half. Her hair is down again – already a problem. She’s wearing a tight pair of pedal pushers with a pink tank top that perfectly accentuates the bronzy tone of her skin. Time has changed her body from a somewhat skinny teenager to an incredibly sexy woman. She’s all curves. Still petite, still toned, but somehow more buxom and filled out. Her thighs are thicker, her breasts are fuller, and that peachy ass is even peachier. I want to sink my teeth into it, watch how that ass bounces as I fuck her from behind.

Holy shit! Am I really thinking about having sex with her right now? Yeah, that’s me. Here in some random wedding boutique just thinking with my dick again. She spots me from the other side of the room and looks a little surprised to see me. The confidence she carries herself with now makes her even sexier. She used to be quite insecure about her looks and her body (my fault), but that slightly reserved demeanor has faded away. Life experience and independence seem to have pulled her out of her shell. She’s so self-assured, almost cocky. The way her hips sway as she saunters toward me tells me that she knows exactly the type of appeal she has.

“Wow, you look an awful lot like Scott today, Keith,” she teases.

“I’m getting exceptionally good at this cosplay.”

She crosses her arms over her chest, pushing those supple tits closer together, and I actively force my eyes to stay on hers. “Why do they keep roping you into this stuff?”

“They secretly hate me,” I reply with a shrug. “Is Isa still here?”

“No, she left a few minutes ago. I’m not sure why Keith asked you. Sometimes he forgets that I’m an adult and I’mverycapable of getting around by myself. I can take an Uber. Don’t inconvenience yourself, Scott. I’ll find my own way home.”

“I’m here.” My tone is not rude, but clipped enough to show my impatience. “I’ve already inconvenienced myself. Do you wanna maybe dial back the attitude and get in the car?”

She simply glares at me for a few seconds before she walks out of the boutique to my SUV. After we get in and strap on our seatbelts, I turn to her. I’m looking at her but trying not to look at her. I hate this weird tension we got going between us.

“Uh...listen, I want to see my puppy. The shelter is just a few blocks from here, so can I make a quick stop there, and then I’ll take you back to your mom’s?”

“Sure.”

Once we arrive at the shelter, I fully expect her to stay in the car, but she hops out and follows me in.

“Hi, Megan,” I say when I reach the reception desk.

Megan is one of my engineering students. She and her older sister, Kaitlin, volunteer at the shelter during the summer. Six weeks ago, one of the abandoned dogs they took in gave birth to three puppies, but unfortunately, because of malnourishment during pregnancy, only one survived. Megan posted a picture of him on the class forum, asking if anyone wanted to adopt him, and my thumbs responded at rapid-fire speed. The second I laid eyes on him, I just had to have him.

Megan’s eyes widen when she sees me. “Hi...Oh, hi, Mr. Carter!” Her voice is high-pitched, and her cheeks turn bright red. She adjusts her shirt and runs a quick hand over her curly blonde hair. “We...we weren’t expecting you to come by today.”

Kaitlin gives me a sultry smile. “I’m not complaining.” Her green eyes move down my chest, and she nips her lower lip with her teeth. “It’s nice to see you, Scott. It’salwaysnice to see you.”

A small snicker pops out of Catalina because the flirting is so blatant. Megan is a sweetheart, but she’s very shy and gets overly nervous every time she talks to...pretty much any guy. Her sister, on the other hand, not so sweet and not nervous at all. Kaitlin, as Cat would probably describe her, is a walking thirst trap. She’s told me on more than one occasion exactly what she wants from me. She’s never been in my class. She studied Economics or some shit like that, so she’s never thought that the teacher-student boundaries ever applied to her and I. After she graduated, she became ten times worse, making her intentions more obvious because technically there are no barriers anymore. She calls me Scott to blur the lines further.

“How’s my little guy?” I ask, ignoring the comment.

“Oh, he’s so cute,” Megan replies. “And doing so well.”

We follow her to the back to a small cage at the end of the passage.

“Mama is still a little protective of him,” Megan explains as she unlocks the cage, “so if she starts growling, don’t touch him.”

I wait for her to leave before I squat down and carefully reach into the cage to pick him up. His mom doesn’t seem to mind. I’ve been coming here to check on him every few days, so she must be used to me by now.

“Hey, Rocky,” I say, testing the new name, and yeah, it suits him.

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