Page 22 of Till Kingdom Come

“What? Then whose room is this?”

“It’s yours, of course.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Where did you think you’d be sleeping?”

“I-I don’t know. I don’t know anything, and no one tells me much. I don’t understand anything that’s going on. Please…tell me why you made the trade for me with Ellien. Was it about revenge? Please tell me.”

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know what to think. Help me understand.”

He gazed at me a long time and then leaned back in his chair and stared into the fire.

“It was never about petty revenge,a chuisle.”He glanced back at me and sighed. “You’re beautiful, but not so beautiful that I should feel this out of control around you. It makes me angry at myself for losing control, and I say things I really shouldn’t say because…” He shook his head. “You bother me. Confuse me. Infuriate me.Fascinateme.”

He drew me to him with a hand around the back of my neck and crushed his lips to mine, so that my head fell back against the seat. He drew away after a moment and whispered against my lips.

“I think…I think we should go ahead and make love, so I can get this out of my system.”

“Oh, do you?” I cried pushing at his chest. “Out of your system, huh? Well, what if I disagree? What if I don’t want to make love to you?”

He shrugged, looking puzzled. “If that’s your decision, of course. I won’t force you.” He turned to walk away. “Get some sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.”

I yelled after him, “No!” as loudly as I could and then I picked up a domed top from one of the silver dishes that the female Fairies had left on a tray on the table. I threw it at him, and it bounced off his back with a thud. His broad, muscular shoulders went up like a cat’s and he turned to look at me with fire in those gorgeous eyes. He glanced down at the dome on the floor.

“Did you just throw that at me?” he asked in an incredulous voice.

“Yes, and I’ll do it again!” I looked around for something else to throw and saw a pewter candlestick on the mantle. I rushed over, grabbed it and pulled back my hand to hurl that at him too, but his body slammed into me, and we fell to the floor. Luckily, he twisted so I landed on him and not the other way around.

He was much bigger and even more determined than I was. I knew that I was being foolish to try to fight him. He disarmed me easily, knocking the candlestick out of my hand. But I wasn’t ready to give up and fought on with determination, trying to wrestle him and put him in a hold that he easily broke free from. I was being ridiculous, because he thwarted my every move.

“Stop all this fighting before you hurt yourself,” he growled at me, but I wouldn’t. I was furious at how he could so easily walk away from me. I knew that was foolish. I’d only just met him after all, if you didn’t count the incident at the bridge, and we barely knew each other. But it was far too much like my father and my brothers had walked away from me. Like my mother had left me too, when I was so small and vulnerable. Even Ellien. He never had been my friend at all. He’d been plotting against me the whole damn time and probably laughing at how stupid I was. And now Bracca, this handsome prince, who had brought me here out of some notion he hadn’t revealed to me yet, but was no doubt something insane—now he was trying to walk away from me too, like I was nothing. Like I was insignificant. Like I was not to be taken seriously. Like my life didn’t fucking matter.

“Stop this!” he shouted again.

No matter how much he denied it, I thought he had brought me here because I’d once dared to ask him—nicely, by God—for his damn spurs. I’d been trying to avoid bloodshed, and he’d thought I was a thief. Maybe he regretted it now and wished he had just killed me like he’d so casually mentioned killing my father. What would someone like him want with me anyway?

Was I feeling sorry for myself? Hell yes, I was, and I didn’t care anymore about hiding it. I didn’t care about anything, and I wanted him to know it.

I turned underneath him and began to seriously fight for my life, kicking and trying to twist free. I could have saved myself the trouble as he quickly subdued me. He trapped my hands over my head to hold me in place, and though I still squirmed and tried to twist away, he straddled me, leaning down and shouting in my face.

“Stop fighting me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me? You already have!” I was outraged and fought even harder. He thought of me as a child, and I wasn’t. I was a full-grown man, and I may as well admit that I’d wanted him to stay and make love to me—I had wanted him almost from the first time I’d seen him, when I hadn’t even known who he was. He had held me close under the furs when I’d been so afraid and thought I’d freeze to death, and he’d saved me. He put me on his own stag and held me against him for warmth. I didn’t want to have to persuade him or beg him or cajole him into it. And I didn’t want his charity or his curiosity or his stupid “fascination” either. I’d never ask him to want me again. Never!

“Damn it, boy!” he cried and then he bent over me and to my shock, he sank his teeth into the side of my throat. The pain was bright and excruciating, but it only lasted a moment. His teeth were gone so quickly I barely registered the pain. Then moments later, I felt a languid numbness creeping over me. I screamed when he began sucking and licking at the blood, trickling from the wound. He stopped and looked down at me and then started licking over the wound again, alternating between the licking and the sucking, and I found to my horror that I couldn’t move. I lay still, paralyzed and completely limp as he alternated that with kissing my lips, and a thrill like I’d never known before shot through my body. In seconds, I was hard and aching for him. Or hell, maybe I had been since the moment I’d touched him. It caused me to have an instant erection and shudders shook me relentlessly.

I was so overwrought at this point that I think I blacked out for a moment, and the next thing I remember were warm hands under my shirt caressing my skin and soft kisses all over my face. I was pulled up and crushed against Bracca’s muscular chest. He was no longer biting me but kissing me and cradling me in his arms. I was shivering with reaction, though the numb, boneless feeling was still there.

He picked me up in his arms and carried me over to the bed, pulling back the covers and laying me down. I should have been frightened, but it was difficult when he was whispering wild words in my ear, telling me how beautiful I was and describing what he was going to do to me in great detail. At least that’s what I thought he was saying. I didn’t understand the language with my mind, but still somehow, Iknew every word he said. In that exchange of blood and saliva, however brief it had been, had something transferred to me? Something had happened, though it was already fading. I put my arms up around his neck, and he leaned down to mingle his hot breath with mine.

“Make love to me,” I moaned, rutting against him shamelessly, wanting to feel him inside me. I kept trying to reach for his groin, so I could hold him in my hand. “Please,” I begged him, needing him to make love to me, though I hardly even knew what that meant. I’d never done anything with anyone before—nothing more than groping another boy in the dark and taking a few stolen kisses from one of the maids once, just quick brushings of lips. Then inevitably came the shameful turning away toward dark corners, and treating love like it was dirty and forbidden. Like it was a sin and a crime against Nature—which it was, according to the Church.

I’d always known I was more attracted to males than females, though I liked both. I’d also known it was wrong, according to what the priests said. And though we weren’t a religious family, I still knew about sin. My stepmother and my old nurse before her used to always make me say my prayers when I was younger.

“Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as in heaven.Lead us not into temptation, and deliver us from evil…”

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