Page 36 of Beyond the Badge: Nox

He did not drop his gaze this time, but instead met hers full on. He wasn’t going to break their locked gaze; he was going to make her break first.

When her eyes narrowed, so did his.

When one side of her mouth pulled up, his flattened.

She lifted a single eyebrow, her expression smug. “Your turn.”

Whose turn?

Damn it.He was the one who broke when he glanced around the circle to find all eyes were onhim.

It was his turn.

Shit.He really missed Bonnie and her damn orthopedic shoes. She never forced anyone to participate.

He only needed to say something brief, then they could move on to the next person. “Nox. Fine.” A noise came from Aaliyah, but he ignored her. Other than that, the group was silent. To make sure they knew he was done sharing, he added, “Next!”

He breathed easier when the person to his left began to speak.

He snuck a glance at the time on his cell phone. They’d only been there less than ten minutes. Tonight was going to drag on and he would need to hang on to his seat by his fingernails to remain there the whole time.

Aaliyah’s smooth-as-honey voice filled the space between them. “Next, we’ll go around and share one good memory of your loved one. It doesn’t have to be long; it can be short and sweet. Simply a memory that makes you smile when you think about it. Maybe it’ll make us smile, too.”

She was purposely torturing him, wasn’t she? Her whole motive was to break him down and break him open.

She wouldn’t succeed. She couldn’t succeed. If she was declaring war, he was ready to go to battle. She wasn’t going to win. He would fight until he had no fight left in him.

Once again they went around the circle, but this time, Aaliyah started.

Normally, he either half-listened or blocked out the stories completely, but this was one story he wanted to hear.

“This is not only a good memory, it’s my favorite. We’d been trying to get pregnant…”

He tensed. Maybe he didn’t want to hear it after all.

“…and month after month, the test was negative. Every time I took one, thinking this was it, we were disappointed. Then it happened. The second the test turned positive, Mark grabbed the test stick, ran out of the house and into the driveway, yelling at the top of his lungs that he was going to be a dad. I’ll never forget his face and the way he waved that damn stick above his head. He was so excited and happy.”

Even from where he sat, even though she smiled softly, he could see the sheen in her eyes.

Nox remembered being disappointed, too, once they started trying. He was worried they’d never get pregnant. Jackie cried every time it was negative, even though she tried to hide her disappointment from him.

As each group member shared their good memory—some were short, others long-winded—his chest got tighter as it came closer to his turn.

Then he was in the hot seat.

“Nox?” Aaliyah prodded. “Tell us a good memory. In more than a couple of words this time, please.” Again, she was using her mom voice.

Only, he wasn’t a fucking child.

“I have too many.” That was four words.

“I need you to pick one.”

His favorite memory was similar to hers, but he would not voice it out loud.

He closed his eyes and watched that moment play out all over again like a movie on the back of his eyelids. His reality. His nightmare.

He could see it plain as day.

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