Page 108 of A Rising Hope

I knew he could overpower me, but he played along. I was going to say something snarky and vile, and yet my mindwent blank, completely enamored by him. His muscled arms stretched and pinned above, playing along with my tricks, his chest rising in uneven breaths. His dark eyes reflected the silver glow of the stars above as my thighs pinned his waist. His perfect lips were just within reach and all I could think of was how I wanted to taste them, to get rid of these clothes that suddenly felt too tight around me.

I forced my disheveled thoughts to behave. Perhaps it was the moonlight, perhaps it was my own eyes absolutely enchanted by him, but I wasn’t sure how I had completely missed that divine power and beauty radiating from him before. His celestial glory swallowed the surrounding air.

I took a long breath, torn between an absolutely primal desire to devour him and the inner part of me that demanded retribution.

“I was going to wait until morning to give you some rest, but since you already seem to be in such good health, why wait?” I told him.

“Wait for what?”

I let go of his arms, reaching for the secret pocket sewed inside my shirt.

“For this.” I pulled a wrinkled letter out. His playful smirk turned to a regretful wince.

“You kept the letter . . . ” He grimaced, recognizing the paper with his own handwriting on it.

“Yes, of course I kept the damn letter.” I glared at him, content to see a flicker of remorse.

“Finnleah,” he started, as his hand reached for a strand of my hair to tuck behind my ear, but I turned away.

“No, I had a very long time to think about this. And you know what?” My lips turned into a thin line. The burning need to feel him deep inside me would have to wait. “As the Goddess of Justice and Mercy or whatever else, I am supposed to deliverjustice for everyone. But what about me? Who is going to deliver justice for me? So, for once, I demand it for myself.” I let out a jaded scoff.

“Finnleah . . . ” He gently caressed my thigh with his hand.

“I fucking trusted you with my heart. We gave vows to each other and then you go and fucking write me a goodbye letter?”

“My love—” He closed his eyes, and perhaps for the first time I saw him crushed.

“No. Because let’s hear it.” I turned to the perfectly written lines and though it was dark, I had those hateful words memorized as I read. “‘Live, Finnleah . . . live . . . Goodbye, my love,be happy’?! First, how dare you? How dare you tell me what to do? And more so, how dare you tell me to be happy when youleftme? You left with no intention of ever coming back. And you thought this shitty excuse of a letter would be sufficient to explain yourself? You promised me the world and a future. You promised me eternity and then said goodbye. Be happy without me?”

“I—”

“Do you know how many nightmares I had because of you?” I poked his chest with my finger at each word. “Do you know how I literally couldn’t sleep at all because each time I closed my eyes I saw you die?”

“You were going to be tortured and killed,” he said, as if that was a valid excuse.

“So, what?!” My arms flayed. “You should’ve let me die. I don’t care for my life if you are not in it.”

He sat up, his chest right next to mine as my legs wrapped around his hips. Our heartbeats skipped a matching beat.

“I am sorry, but I couldn’t do that, now, could I?” He gently tilted my chin up to meet his gaze. His calming eyes were too loving and too apologetic even for him, making my anger stutter. “When Insanaria took you, I?—”

“I had it handled.”

“You were bleeding out on the floor with both of your hands chopped off?—”

“A minor scrape considering what she did to you,” I argued.

“I’d live?—”

“Something you conveniently forgot to mention—” His forefinger paused on my lips, hushing me for a second, as he softly continued.

“I’d live, and you’d die, and if my theory about your powers was correct,which it was, you’d be forced to take your place as a god, never able to come back to earth again.”

I opened my mouth to object, but his eyes quietened me.

“And even if my theory was wrong, I couldn’t let you die, my love, you know that. I know that. Even Insanaria, to her credit, knew that. And if I had to sacrifice the world to save you, I would.”

“Youare my world, Gideon, andyousent yourself without even a second of hesitation to the gallows, without thinking twice of what that would do to me. I didn’t need your heroics. I needed you safe and I would’ve been happy being dead knowing that you’d be okay. But instead, you sentenced me to a life of misery without you and signed your verdict with your ‘be happy’ goodbye letter.”

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