Page 57 of A Simple Truth

Each one of them. Each time. People all looked to me for answers. Waiting for my decisions, my call. My direction.

It always came down to me.

A path chosen by the stars.

And most of the time, I didn’t mind it. I carried on. I executed. I did my duty. Yet today, I was so utterly exhausted.

And for once, defeated.

“Now, we rest and tomorrow, we make a new plan,” I replied quietly, meeting her eyes, putting up the well-practiced ruthless Destroyer General’s mask. Though somehow, as her eyes scanned my face, she saw past it.

She saw and didn’t turn away.

Perhaps it was desperation mixed with rotting misery, but I gave in to a moment of weakness, craving a comforting touch. With a breath, I moved my arm, wrapping it around her shoulder and pulling her shivering body closer to mine. I didn’t deserve this simple touch from her. But still, I tugged her flush against my body, my heart frozen in time, waiting for her to push me away; to remind me of how much she didn’t want me near her. And yet, she didn’t say a word, instead she nestled her head against my chest, leaning her body into mine.

The universe quieted, and for a moment, I could care less about successes or failures, goals and accomplishments; because right here, right now, she was next to me, and in that second it had dawned on me thatthiswaswhat I had always truly wanted. This was what actually mattered.

“You know, the last time I listened to your heart, I almost killed you,” she stated, as the last bit of thunder rolled through the night. My one arm enveloped her back, pulling her even closer to me, the other pulling her legs over mine.

“To be honest, I’m still not sure if you have fully abandoned the idea,” I softly whispered into the night, the corner of my lips tugging upward in a crooked smile.

“I consider it from time to time.” I could feel her cheeks move slightly up against my chest.

“Well, right now would be a good instance to do so,” I replied, afraid to close my eyes less I’d blink, and she’d be gone, and her warmth next to my heart would be just a glimpse of a dream.

“As tempting as it might sound, I will keep you alive for now.” She yawned, and I secretly smiled. Because she did. She kept me alive.

Somehow, through the thunder and the storm, through the devastation and painful defeat, my heart beat faster than ever before, no matter how hard I tried to keep it still. The darkness within me lit up with bright joy.

It wouldn’t matter if she stabbed me straight through my heart right now. Because I’d still feel more alive in this moment than I had ever felt before in my entire life.

Alive and eager.

And hopeful.

Actually, truly hopeful.

33

FINNLEAH

Iflinched, attempting to move the General’s heavy arm off from my shoulders. He was still peacefully asleep, and I didn’t want to wake him. Not until I considered what I had done.

I slithered as carefully and silently as I could, holding in my breath until I crawled out from the little shelter, he’d hastily built last night.

The morning sunrays immediately blasted me with heat, and I already missed the cool shade of our make-shift-cover. The intense humidity in the jungle was unbearable yesterday, but now? After the storm, it felt as if my lungs breathed hot boiling water, not air. The few loose strands of hair from my messy braid instantly stuck to my sweaty neck and face. I pulled on the tie holding my hair, untangling the tight knots with my fingers.

At least it was easier to untangle my hair than the thoughts and emotions that consumed me.

It was a simple cuddle. Nothing special about that. Just two people who were cold, and exhausted…It made sense in the moment,I tried telling myself, as if that would somehow negate the growing craving within me to feel his warmth against my body, to hear his thundering heart again.It was just a low pointfor me. He knew that. He gave me a hug. That’s a normal thing for people to do. In fact, he might have done the gesture out of pity.AndI didn’t need anyone’s pity.

How dare he pity me?I attempted to summon the blistering anger within me, anger that would tramp down that growing seedling of long forgotten feelings. But the anger didn’t rise, too distracted by the memory of the General’s muscled body against mine, his large hands against my side, my back, my legs.

“Crap,” I mumbled, as I clumsily dropped, the small, round tie now all wet from the shallow puddle by my boots. “Seriously?” I hissed at myself as the bandages on my hand also got soaking wet as I attempted to pick it up. I quickly abandoned the idea of doing two braids, settling for a simple, single braid.My hair would soon turn moldy anyway, never fully drying in this heat, so might as well not waste time making it look pretty,I thought to myself, grimacing just a bit as my fingers stung while re-braiding my hair slowly.

A simple touch. A nice gesture. Nothing more,I told myself once again as my mind drifted back to the oddly thrilling memories of last night.Yet, why can’t I stop thinking about it?It wasas if his touch hypnotized me, my traitorous heart still mimicking his heartbeat.

Because it was caring, and gentle, and somehow, so damn comforting.And my mind couldn’t fit the puzzle together, because he wasn’t any of those things.

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