Page 132 of A Simple Truth

And I am so afraid. I am so, so scared.

My trembling hand squeezed the pen tight as I stared into the darkness unable to write one word more.

After a while, as the cold ocean winds caressed my puffy face, and the previous inferno turned to embers within, I turned the paper around, writing something that I knew had to be said, something that I had yet had the courage to face.

My stumbling thoughts poured out on paper as my unsteady hand scribbled the words.

Ollie.

My body shrugged and I couldn’t even comprehend the overwhelming words, the feelings that were ready to tear out of me. The end of my pen seeped into the paper, as I wrote,

Dear Ollie, my brave knight, my savior, my love. You were there for me when I needed you the most. When I saw the world as nothing but bleak gray, you showed me color. When I struggled to stand, you held me up. When my hope wavered through storms, when my faith blurred, you were always there, carrying me through it all. You showed me what it was like to dream, to look forward to the future. You showed me what it’s like to love.

If it weren’t for you, I would’ve never known what unconditional love meant, what it was like to be loved, to have thecourageto love. But when I lost you, I lost it all. My hope, my faith, my valor. My dreams died with you that day. The future lost its meaning without you in it. Life lost its purpose. And I have missed you every day since. I spent nights, years, wondering what if things were different…

I think a part of me died with you that day, and I think I’ve carried its dead body in my soul for so long that I haven’t noticed as it slowly rotted me from within.

I held in my breath, as calm tears ran down my reddened face.

I think it’s time for me to let you go.

To set you free.

I will let you be.

I will no longer hold you hostage in my heart.

I will let you go.

I didn’t bother rereading the indecipherable words on the paper as I walked across the beach. The warm sand stuck to my bare feet until I was marching in the cold water, waves crashing high above my knees. Only then, I let go of my paper, watching a piece of my dying heart float away from me.

I stood there as seconds turned into minutes, my feet turning numb from the Northern Ocean rushing past them, but I stayed motionless. My eyes followed the quickly disappearing speck of paper, mixed in between the shimmering moonlight that danced on the tips of the curling waves.

Eventually, my tears dried, uneven breaths now the last reminder of my gut-wrenching sobs.

“Goodbye.” My hushed voice carried through the night as I motioned with my hand, lighting up the paper with copper flames, watching my burdened past vanish rapidly into nothingness.

78

GIDEON

The obsidian brick of Blackstone castle felt slippery under my fingers as I climbed a few paces up. The winds this high up rustled my dark, short cloak, mingling it with shadows. The wide, murky canal, encircling the castle walls, was ready to devour our bodies should we fall. My eyes locked with Orest’s as I lifted my chin toward a couple of guards patrolling the passage above us. He nodded in confirmation.

A part of me deliberated walking through the front gates, not bothering with these theatrics. And perhaps, I really should’ve considered it, now that my fingers hurt from ascending the slick, tall wall of the castle. Yet, there was something satisfyingly predatory within me, something sinister, to hunt them in the night like that. To not allow for a single warning, a single chance to escape.

It was also somewhat nostalgic for me to come in this way. I had climbed up and down these walls so many times as a kid, escaping the smothering nature of this stronghold in secret.

My hand slipped but I caught myself a second later. A drop this from this height would mean death. But that fact didn’t bother me right now.

We steadily scaled the castle wall, now only a simple jump to the large, stone rails of the small balcony. I motioned with my hand and Orest leapt. The soldiers patrolling tonight did not utter a single word, Utradecend suffocating them just long enough for Orest to slice their throats with clinical precision. He silently set their bodies down while they choked on their own blood in the last seconds of their lives. Orest had always liked to watch their lives slowly be extinguished from their eyes, his cuts were fatal and meticulous with no margin for error.

“Ready?” I murmured, adjusting my hood, he nodded as the fresh blood pooled by his feet.

My eyes scanned the now-empty balcony. I still had vivid memories of this place being filled with a million flowerpots. Diamara used to have a swing right there in the corner too, she’d spend her afternoons watching the beautiful view, enjoying a book. I glanced over to a particularly dark spot across from me. Even after she left, my uncle kept the flowers alive for the longest time, hoping she’d come back, letting their blooms bring color to the black walls of the castle.

Until one day, I had come here with him, only to watch him burn every pot, every plant and blossom to the ground. It was also the first time I had seen him truly in despair.

I kicked the large doors wide open. Orest followed me like a shadow as we marched through the chambers, towards the Emperor’s room. A couple more moves of our blades and the three guards rushing towards us with their swords laid dead, Fate cutting their threads short. I pushed the two golden double doors wide open, walking into the largest bedroom in the castle.

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