Page 131 of A Simple Truth

“Do I need to ask?” His gray eyes scanned over me, assessing the dangerous agony burning within me.

“No,” I replied sternly, not caring for pleasantries, but neither did Orest. “Do you want to go hunting?” I pointed with my chin at him, and he smirked as he unfolded his arms, a similarly brutal look accompanied by anguish painted on his face.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He straightened up. “What did you have in mind? Human? Mages? Creatures?” he asked.

“Destroyers,”I replied.

77

FINNLEAH

My hand covered my mouth, holding in the gut-wrenching sobs as I watched Gideon’s figure vanish into the night. And then I stormed off in the opposite direction, away from him, away from the party, away from the crowds. My steps turned into a rutted run as tears uncontrollably poured out of me.

I just wanted to go away. I wanted to run away. I wanted to disappear.

I sprinted down the hills, past the boulders, towards the hidden coves along the small beach, until there was nothing but the soaring dark waters of the ocean. Until the hard rock of the alcoves scraped my back as I slid down the its solid walls, unable to stop the heartbreaking sobs.

The shimmering sand spattered from the impact of my angrily thrown shoes; I pulled my knees closer to me, my body shaking as I covered my eyes with my hands and bawled.

‘Your fear is nothing but a weapon now.’Gideon’s words rang within me.And he was right…not only had it hurt him, but it was killing me too.

New tears formed in my eyes as my mind violently destroyed everything within me, replaying our conversation, his words, again and again.

A loud clap echoed through the cove as Liriya appeared out of thin air, her raven silhouette mixing with the shadows around me. But I didn’t acknowledge her, as I wrapped my arms around my legs, spiraling down the deep void of comforting grief until it suffocated me, until I’d bleed out, slowly and painfully. Because I deserved to suffer. I deserved it all.

“Go away,” I muttered to the bird as she jumped closer, gently scratching my leg with her beak, nudging me to the empty piece of paper and pen she had brought. “Please, go away, Liriya,” my voice cracked as I begged her. Her presence brought a whole new asphyxiating wave of tears. She curiously tilted her head to the side, but took a small jump back, pausing, observing me. I didn’t bother wiping away the slobbery tears off my red and puffy cheeks. Soon, she left making the empty cove feel even emptier, colder than before.

I stared through the blurred tears to the sand-covered blank paper.

I knew she wanted me to write tohim,but I couldn’t. Not after tonight.

But I still grabbed the pen and paper, frenziedly scribbling in the dark; unreadable words violently pouring out of me. Words that I wished I could say, even as complete lethal despair drowned me.

I’m so lost, Tuluma. I am so so so lost…

Tears dripped on the paper, messing up the lines of ink.

I am so alone and all I wish is for you to be here. That I could hear your voice one more time. I wish I could trade my life with you. I just wish you were alive….”I wiped away my running nose as I continued writing feverishly.I wish you werehere to tell me what to do. To tell me how I got so far lost in my labyrinth that I don’t know how to get out.

I miss you so much that it physically hurts. It feels like my soul turned inside out. I miss the past and I miss the future we never had. I.JUST.MISS.YOU. So much.

You always said you were not my mother, but you were the only family I had ever known. I worshipped you. I loved you with the purest child’s heart. But you died, and you left me behind, abandoned me in this cruel world.

I had no one but you, Tul.No one.And now I am so alone. Completely. Absolutely alone. With nothing to guide me but my scars.

I wish you could tell me. I wish I could ask you. I wish I could talk to you.

But you are gone, and I am here, more lost than ever before.

And I think…

A new flow of silver streams poured out of my eyes as the loud, crashing ocean waves muffled my cries. My body trembled as I wept tears filled with hopelessness.

I think I love him, Tul.

I really really love him.

And I think I love him more than I have loved anyone or anything before.

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