Page 345 of A University of Betrayal

He wanted to say something.Iwanted him to say something. But I was afraid of his answer, and what it would do to me.

“What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone?” I asked in a shaky voice, trying to fight back the tears. The rest of my body against my brain.

I had to get rid of Miles DeLoughrey before he got what he wanted.

The delicate gap between his lips disappeared again, and he closed his eyes for a tiny moment, as if he was feeling...pain?

What was happening here right now?

He had wanted to say something and I had interrupted him. Now I would never know. And that was just right,wasn’t it?

Overwhelm mixed with anxiety in my chest. I knew that something had just gone wrong, that I had made a mistake, but I couldn’t put my thoughts in order.

I felt a tear break free from my eye and roll down my cheek. It was as hot as his breath on my neck when we had danced.

Goosebumps automatically spread all over my body.

He had breathed. We had danced.

“Why are you crying?” he asked, and it sounded as desperate as I felt.

He took a step towards me. Reluctantly, I backed away.

“I’m not crying.” My voice remained shaky.

“You’re crying... and I want to knowwhy.”

Another step toward me.

“Because you’re confusing me!”

I looked at him pleadingly.

Couldn’t he settle for this, turn around and just leave! What was he doing here? To me?

“I’mconfusingyou?”

Yes!He was confusing me,damn it!And it got worse and worse with each passing day. Miles was everything I couldn’t be. Every time, he showed me anew what I didn’t have, couldn’t have.

Freedom.

“Yes,”I sobbed, desperate by now.

“No,Emely! You’re lying! I’m not confusing you! The only thing that’s confusing you is your feelings!” My breath hitched. My heart jumped and I froze. “Just because you can’t cope with your life, and someone shows you what kind of life you could have, doesn’t mean you have to blame that person just because you can’t handle it. You’re depending on your family, selling your soul for a bunch of people who don’t value you for the person you are.”

And,finally,my heart froze to ice.

That had hit the mark. He had hit the bull’s eye.

My composure slipped away, and I didn’t care what I looked like. Anger, disappointment, confusion, and more confusion filled my body. And then I drew a line.

“You managed to make me cry…” My voice shook badly. I narrowed my eyes, gazing into his, which looked at me expectantly. “That’s theonlytriumph I’lleverlet you have.” By now, my voice was so broken that it no longer sounded like mine, but that of a stranger. I was a stranger to myself. “If you won’t tell me what you want, I’ll tell you what I want you to do.” The attempt to regulate my breathing failed, and I had to gasp for air. “I want you tostay the hell away from me!”

I watched the exact moment he froze into a pillar of salt, as if he’d forgotten that I’d never wanted anything else. When had I let him do all this to me? Let him getthatclose to me? I had been so stupid not to see...

Only Love Can Hurt Like This – Slowed Down Version

Paloma Faith, sped up + slowed

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