Page 166 of A University of Betrayal

“Very kind of you, but I could have done that on my own.”

“Very kind of you,but she can’t even manage that with you.” There was dissatisfaction in Larissa’s expression. “You should have told me about it before telling your annoying neighbor.”

This time Julian’s jaw dropped.

“You didn’t want to talk to me,” I said with indignation, wondering if I was on the verge of anger, but I was just upset.

“Because of all your previous lies,” Larissa hissed angrily, and her eyes began to glow red.

“Larissa, I don’t know anything myself. I don’t even know if I’m a Quatura.”

Lie.I knew I wasn’t one, but what I was instead, I didn’t know.

How was I supposed to be honest with her in this godforsaken town? It was like everything around me was forcing me to keep secrets. But I didn’t want to end up like my mother.

Larissa looked at me angrily, and I? I still didn’t feel any anger.

How was I supposed to learn to control myself if what was inside me didn’t even come out? Alarik would be disappointed. Only I wouldn’t complain. Who wanted to voluntarily walk around as a beast?

“Show me you’re serious and read the journal with me.”

Wait,what?I looked at her, confused. “So, you don’t want me to bring it back?”

“No,”everyone in the room said at the same time, even Julie.

I looked at each and every one of them, stunned.

“You just want to know what’s none of your business.”

“It’s none of your business either,” Julian laughed again. “And besides, you’re not going to bring it back anyway.” He grinned broadly at me.

Again, I looked at Larissa. “Okay. You’re right. I would never have brought it back anyway.”

Larissa was grinning now too. For the first time in a long time.

“Well, then let us see.”

A little overwhelmed, I went to Julie’s bed, where everyone always hung out – out of habit – because she didn’t say anything against it.

“Can I?” I asked nonetheless, and she just nodded and slid to the edge to make room for me. Larissa sat down next to me while Julian sat down on my desk chair.

Everyone looked at me as if they were aristocrats from back then, and I was the letter carrier who brought the gossip to them.

God,now I would actually look at my mother’s diary with them. It felt so forbidden. And yet there was this feeling when I picked up the first page. The feeling that I deserved the truth.

Chapter 32

Bayla

Mirror Lake

Angus MacRae

Beloved Mum,

Even if you can’t read these letters because you’re seriously ill right now, I’m still writing to you, because the idea of writing to a book instead of a person seems a bit lonely.

This weekend, I moved into a shared student flat, and you were right: I just had to get out of Moenia. I think you just know me too well.

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