Page 161 of A University of Betrayal

“Everyone has something.” But I had nothing. “The day I had to separate you and Larissa, what were you arguing about?”

Slowly, the memories came flooding back. Unpleasant memories. I tried to feel my way into them, to experience them again, but I didn’t succeed. As if these feelings had never been mine.

“I can’t,” I grumbled, and my professor gave me a displeased look.

“You haven’t even started yet.”

“Who says I’m even a Senseque just because my eyes can glow yellow?”

“Name me another creature that has that characteristic, and you’re dismissed.”

Point for him.

I snorted in displeasure and tried to summon something into my head that made me angry. I closed my eyes and literally rummaged for memories, nerve-racking discussions with my mother. Whenever she kept quiet instead of talking, whenever she lied to me.

I opened my eyes.

“Much better now,” Alarik said, coming closer. “What do you feel?”

“I feel anger. Just like you wanted me to.”

“Can you amplify that anger?”

I tried, reliving old discussions in my head. Until a thought occurred to me, and I was shocked at myself.

I exhaled and ran a hand through my hair.

“What if I don’t want to be angry?”

Alarik sighed.

I felt my eyes stop glowing.

All Of This

The Naked And Famous

The training had been a disaster. I hadn’t been able to feel anger, had even resisted this feeling at a certain point, until Alarik had explained to me that while anger was the most effective emotion, it wasn’t the only one. And then I’d started from scratch again. At some point he had said that maybe it was still the tea, and that I should stop drinking it and come to his office when I got angry. He had even given me his number in case anything happened, and I had time until the next meeting on Wednesday evening to find the emotion that affected me the most.

Great.

Now – after my messy pants purchase where two arrogant bitches had wanted to rip the clothes out of my hands because it had been the last pieces – I was sitting at my part of the long desk, trying to concentrate on the essay I had wanted to finish last week.

I had managed to attend two interesting literature lectures with Alarik Copeland, who hadn’t let me out of his sight. And then there were my fellow students, who had almost been at each other’s throats again today over little things.As always.

Next to me, Julie sat in silence at her laptop. Grace had braided her hair back and then decorated it with flowers that made her look almost fairy-like, especially in combination with the pastel blue dress.

It was pleasant to work next to her. It didn’t feel awkward at all that we were silent. It was much more like we understood each other and let the other do their stuff in peace.

When I realized that my concentration was waning, I leaned back in my chair. And as if she had set the clock after me, Larissa appeared in the doorway.

She was wearing black jeans with one of her new leather jackets of the same color over a very tight white top. “Don’t tell me you guys are studying the whole time.”

I should be surprised she showed up at all. After all, she was still pissed. However, I knew my best friend and hoped she would forgive me eventually.

“What does it look like?” I just asked, prepared for her usual grumpy mood as she took another step into the room and finally dashed to her far too neat bed at an inhuman pace.

Julie immediately put her white headphones down and stared at Larissa as if she’d seen a ghost.

---