Page 79 of Boss with Benefits

After what felt like an eternity, we were allowed back in the room. Derrick and Valeria hurried in, and I walked behind them, unsure if I should stay.

In the bed, his mother was still and looked like she was sleeping. Derrick took a shuddering breath, his face pale and drawn, and held his mom's hand tight in his own. His chin wobbled but his jaw tightened, like he was holding back a tsunami of emotions.

"I need some air," he muttered, dropping her hand and walking out the door. Valeria took Derrick's place beside her mom's bed.

"I'll go after him," I said, but suddenly I didn't know if that was a good idea.

"Wait." Valeria turned to me. "Be careful with him. He looks strong, but he's easily broken."

She held my gaze, making sure I understood her full meaning.

"Then I'll be his glue."

She nodded once, a little smile on her lips, before turning back to the bed.

Derrick was already at the end of the hallway. I hurried after him. Down the next corridor he entered the hospital chapel. Quietly, I opened the door into the small, dimly lit room that offered a refuge from the chaos outside.

It was empty except for the two of us. Derrick stood at the front of the room, his shoulders tense, before he suddenly fell to his knees and began to whisper something.

I stepped closer, my arms tingling with the urge to wrap them around his broad back and grip him tightly to me. I strained to hear what he was whispering, and I was shocked when I realized it was some religious chant. Perhaps...the rosary.

I was raised Hindu, but growing up it was more about celebrations like Holi and Diwali than a religious faith.

I stood there, stunned, until it dawned on me that this was for his mother, who was devoutly Catholic, and it broke me a little. He didn't believe in this, not like his mother, but here he was, on his knees.

"Derrick," I said softly, inching closer.

He whirled around, eyes blazing. "Are you here to judge me? I know you judge my mom for her beliefs."

I was taken aback. "What? No, Derrick, I?—"

"Yes, you do!" he shouted, his voice echoing in the small chapel. "You made it very clear at the lake that you don't respect her or her beliefs."

I stumbled backwards, the back of my knees hitting one of the chairs lined up behind me.

"I...that was...I was defending your sister. That doesn't mean I don't like your mother or want her to get better. God, Derrick. I know you're upset, but I'm wrecked seeing your mom sick. Seeing Valeria and you distraught. Anyone you care about, I care about too."

He looked at me, a deeper pain crossing his face. "I wish I believed that."

He turned around and bowed his head again.

The line of crinoline under my tiny skirt rustled as I stepped away from the chairs. Suddenly, I felt like a fool for being there dressed like that. I was shaking. As much as I wanted to be his rock, I couldn't force myself on him. I couldn't make him want me by his side.

Tears pricked my eyes, and I roughly wiped them away. Ugh. When did I become such a softy? So what if Derrick didn't want me anymore. I never asked for his love. I never wanted to love him back.

And yet...

Yet...

My chin trembled and I was overcome with the urge to run home, curl up under my covers, and disappear. I hated all these damn unchecked emotions. This was why love sucked. I was a wreck, and there was nothing I could do about it.

That's when I realized there were two sides to the coin of love:

Bliss.

And despair.

Derrick's chanting wavered and he fell forward, his body shaking. His hands covered his face, muffling rough sobs. I rushed to him, crashed to my knees, and collapsed over him, holding him tightly. He shifted sideways and fell into my arms, breaking on me.

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