Page 54 of Boss with Benefits

"It's okay, Rach," I murmured, reaching out to brush her hair. "Let it out."

"Don't." She shook me off, and I immediately took my hand from her head.

Her shoulders shook with sobs. I didn't know what to do, how to comfort her. But I couldn't just sit there and watch her cry, and when she leaned forward, her head falling to my shoulder, I gathered her to my chest. Instead of rejecting my comfort for a second time, she melted into my embrace, her hands fisting my shirt.

"I've got you," I whispered, stroking her back. "You're safe. Let it all out."

"Amma and I have never had secrets. Nothing like this. It was always just the two of us, a rock-solid unit. I don't understand…" She sucked down a sob. "I don't know how she could keep this secret from me."

She tilted her head back, her face so close I saw the color defect in her eye.

"You don't know what it's like, Derrick, being an only child. Your childhood was filled with an array of siblings and two parents who loved and supported you. My mom is all I had. I mean, I had my grandparents and an array of aunties and cousins who filled the house on the weekends and holidays. But on the daily, it was just the two of us.”

Rachel looked past me, staring in the distance at her memories.

“She’s my ride or die. I trust her more than anyone and she lied to me." Rachel fell forward and I tugged her into my arms tighter, her breath hot as she cried out her frustration.

"Your mom loves you, that's obvious. But no one's perfect, Rach. She thought she was doing the right thing." Rachel glanced up at me, her face red with anger. "I know. I know. I'm not saying it was right, but you can't deny there was love behind it. No one's mom's perfect. I certainly know that."

Rachel snorted against my shirt and fisted the fabric tighter, pulling herself closer. I inhaled her grape shampoo and closed my eyes, sinking into her essence. My heart ached for her, for the pain she was going through. She was lost, and I wanted to help her find her way. But you can't fix other people. They have to fix themselves.

But damn it, if I could, I'd take away her pain. The only thing I could do was be a salve and take some of the sting out.

"I'm sorry." She pulled back, wiping at her eyes. "I can usually keep it together. I hate falling apart."

I shook my head, tucking a blue strand of hair behind her ear. "Your life has been turned upside down, Rachel. I can't imagine what you're going through. It's healthy to cry, to scream, to do whatever you need to do to process everything."

She gave me a watery smile, and my heart skipped a beat. Even with bloodshot eyes and a blotchy face, she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

"Thanks, Boss," she said softly, reminding me what I was to her.

I swallowed hard over the aching lump in my throat. She looked at me then, really looked at me. And my breath hitched. There was something in her eyes, something I'd never seen before. A vulnerability that made me want to pull her back to my chest and hold her forever. I cared for her. More than a friend. Certainly, more than a boss should.

But I was afraid to dissect my heart and see all that was inside. It was too dangerous.

She stared up at me, soaking in my strength, and I wanted to tell her, to share a piece of these unexpected and wonderful feelings with her. But I didn't. She had enough on her plate without me adding my feelings to the mix to confuse her.

I patted her hand, which was horribly inefficient, but if I held her again, I didn't know if I'd be able to resist pulling her in and kissing her fiercely.

"You're gonna figure this out, Rachel." I smiled to reassure her. "And I'll help. You're not alone."

She nodded. "Thanks. You're a good man, Derrick."

Her palm heels roughly wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks. "I should get back to work," she said, giving me a rueful smile. "I've already missed enough."

I stood up and offered her my hand. She took it, letting me pull her to her feet.

"If you need anything, I'm here," I told her.

“I know.” She squeezed my hand. "You're the most dependable man I know."

Somehow her analysis of me broke my heart a little. She was strong, fearless, a maverick. I was boring, stoic, and dependable. Why would she want that? Everything I was paled in comparison to her tenacity.

"Thank you," she said, her voice hoarse. "And sorry about all the snot."

She waved her hand at the wet stains on my shirt, and I snorted out a laugh.

"Anytime," I said lamely.

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