Page 80 of Unbossly Manners

“Apparently, we made out the night of the unfortunate incident. I had this feeling something happened and I forced him into telling me.”

“Why did he keep it from you?”

“He didn’t want me to think it ‘meant something’.” I took the pillow from behind me and squished it into my face and screamed.

“What the hell does that mean?” Selena took the pillow from my face and threw it on the floor.

“It means, he doesn’t want me to get attached. He doesn’t like me. I mean, he likes me. But he doesn’t want to be my boyfriend or whatever. Not that I was asking him to be that.”

Selena shoved the pillow under her head and lay next to me. “And you kissed him again? On the hike.”

“I was pissed and he was trying to apologize and we ended up kissing. But then in a twist of fucked up fate his goddamn wedding ring stopped the kiss. Literally. And before I could scream at him about it all again, he got a text from Kat—she just landed from India and wants to ‘talk’. Not on the phone. In person.”

Selena lightly slapped my arm. “Shut up. She’s coming here?”

“Yep.” I sat up, and stretched over my folded legs, resting my head on the mattress.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah. Fuck.” I mumbled into the comforter.

“Do you think she wants to get back with him?” Selena crisscrossed her legs and sat up next to me.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Selena pulled me up from the bed. “It matters.”

“All that matters is he doesn’t want me like that, and I need to fucking forget about him once and for all.”

“But you didn’t sign up for this arrangement because you wanted Jackson,” Selena frowned. “He was a stepping stone to the next guy, to give your confidence a kick in the ass.”

My belly twisted, my heart ached, and I wanted to take out every organ until I stopped feeling this awful, horrible, soul-crushing pain.

Instead, I punched the bed with my fists. “I hate this.”

Selena rubbed my back. “I’m sorry, mi amore.”

“Me too.” I breathed out a long, deep breath.

“You know it won’t work,” Selena said.

“Jackson and me?” My face fell, hurt.

“Not you.” She shoved my shoulder. “Kat’s relationship isn’t working out so she’s coming back to what she knows. But the same issues will arise and she’ll leave again.”

“I don’t want to be his backup plan,” I said.

“Good for you.” Selena opened her laptop and tapped the screen. “I mapped the route.”

I leaned back on the pillows. “What are you talking about?”

“For the race.”

“You want to talk about that?” My heart sank into its new prickly place.

Selena raised her eyebrows. “I thought we were done with the Jackson conversation. He’s in love with his ex, she’s gonna break his heart again, you don’t want to be his fallback girl.”

I grunted. I wanted to sit there all day analyzing Jackson. Talking about him made me feel close to him.

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