Page 61 of Unbossly Manners

“Where is she this month?”

“Hiking in Breck. She loves the wildflowers this time of year. And the fireman there is an added benefit.” Those mountains were one of my favorite places on earth, any season. In the summer the foliage was lush and the mild weather was perfect for the gorgeous hikes. Fall was magical with the spattering of golden Alpines and crisp weather, and winter was for skiing and drinking by the fire.

“This isn’t about my mother. And she didn’t ruin me.”

“A little bit.” Selena wrinkled her nose. “Don’t get me wrong. I love Grace, but you have no idea what a healthy, monogamous relationship looks like. If you were like your mom, it would’ve been fine. But you’re not. You like stability.”

“I wish I could be like her. Free as a bird.”

The waitress lay our plate of dollar tacos between us. Selena took a bite, salsa dripping out of the tortilla shell.

“That’s the problem. You never had a good example of what a heteronormative relationship looks like. Your dad was wrecked by what happened between your mom and him, and then he was gone. You don’t know how to be in a relationship, and at the same time you’re waiting for whoever you’re with to leave like your dad did.”

“Fuck,” I said at the realization. My hands were folded on the sticky table, and I rested my chin on top of them.

“You’re starting to get feelings for Jackson, but he’s still attached to his ex. In your mind, he’ll never get over her. Your father never got over your mom.”

“Jackson and I aren’t a couple. We’re just doing this crazy thing.”

Selena pet my hair. “That’s how it started. How it’s going is a different story. Something changed the other night.”

I shrugged. “I can have feelings for Jackson without it being the end of the world. Not that it matters anymore. At least our lessons taught me that having deeper feelings makes being vulnerable in bed easier.”

“Do you like Derrick?”

“He’s sexy.” I smiled into my hands.

“But do you like him?”

I sat back and stretched my arms into my lap.

“I’m attracted to him. Not just his looks, I’m impressed by everything he does for women and what he’s done with the company. And when we were making out it was steamy. You know… until it wasn’t. But he explained all that.” I puckered my lips over the straw and sucked down my drink. “And yeah, I’ve got feelings for Jackson. But that’s over now. I made sure of it.”

Selena flicked me with her straw. “You were protecting yourself, mi amore.”

I laughed, warmth filling the cold void. “I love you, Lena.”

“I love you, too.”

The light was on in Jackson’s office when I arrived at work on Monday. I walked the long way to my workstation, so he wouldn’t see me pass by his office, which turned out to be pointless.

A reminder chimed on my phone. My weekly meeting with Prathi was in five minutes.

When I walked into the conference room, Prathi sat at the far end of the long table, Jackson on the other side. I glanced between them and took the chair across from Jackson.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

Normally, Prathi and I met for a few minutes to make sure the relationship with Jackson was still consensual, she made some notes, and I left.

“I asked to join the meeting today,” he said.

He didn’t look at me, and I took the chance to study him. He had a tan, his muscles leaner, his biceps more defined. His attitude was cold, but there was a lightness and glow about him.

“What’s going on?” Prathi raised her eyebrows. “Has something altered in your relationship?”

“There is no longer a relationship,” Jackson said.

My chest tightened. I knew it, but to hear it…

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