Page 18 of Unbossly Manners

“That’s so sweet,” I said. I was an adult and I still slept with my Applejack plushy.

Chip and Winona better not have laid a finger on her.

“Jackson wants to spend some time with her since Evie’s traveling with me for a while.” Kat slid her eyes to Selena. “I’m Kat, by the way. And I’m guessing you're the best friend.”

Selena smiled widely. “Yep.”

“Everything’s ready for you at my apartment.” Kat swung her gaze back to me.

I opened my mouth to protest again, but Kat cut me off.

“It’s gonna be sitting empty. Don’t be a dolt.”

“A what?” I said at the same time Selena said, “She’ll stay there. Don’t worry.”

I glared at Selena but there was no heat in it. Truthfully, it would be a relief to stay at Kat’s place.

“Okay,” I said.

“Good.” Kat opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water, then sat on one of the swinging hammock chairs. “Mind if I join you for a sec. Jackson’s on some work call where he’s screaming a lot.”

“Sure,” I said. “I was filling Selena in about last night.”

“I’m gonna kick his ass,” Selena said through a mouth full of chips, crumbs flying to her lap.

“But you’re not,” I said, yanking at my crop top. Why did today’s fashion have to have such little fabric? My shorts were in my ass and my top kept riding up.

“What did I say?” Selena tucked her chin and raised her eyebrows. “About letting Chip have power over you.”

“I’m not letting him. It’s not that simple. I could sit here and proclaim I could give two fucks about what that prick did. But that’s not the truth. I know what he did was awful. I know that I shouldn’t care. I know I should forget about it. But I’m a fucking human being. That’s not gonna happen. Not yet. I’m gonna play what he said in my head over and over and the next time I’m with a guy, I’m gonna second guess everything I do. And—” I halted, not able to say the next part.

“What?” Selena asked and her eyes softened. “I promise I’ll listen and not judge.”

“Me too,” Kat piped in.

“I’m not worried about you judging,” I said to Selena. “But you go on your power rants and don’t listen. Can you listen, Lena?”

“I’m offended,” Selena teased, but she was partly serious. “Tell me. I’ll listen.”

“I’m scared to be with another guy until I know what I’m doing.”

Selena sat back and exhaled.

“First, and I can’t say this enough,” Selena said. “That guy was the problem. Not you. You don’t have to be perfect at giving head. Or having sex. Or any of it. It’s always a work in progress. Everyone is different. When you find someone you like, you’ll teach each other. I had no fucking clue what I was doing the first time I was with a girl. But Amy and I worked it out together. Those were some of the sweetest—and hottest—moments of my life.”

Amy was her first girlfriend. She was the one that got away. After Selena, Amy dated and married a man and had two kids. Selena had never gotten over her first girlfriend going from being with her to choosing a heteronormative life. Not that I thought Amy chose it. I think she fell in love and the person happened to be a man. But in Selena’s mind, Amy chose that life over being with a woman, and she was injured on two fronts.

Kat swung gently on her perch.

“Selena’s right. Our culture makes it seem like we should come into every relationship as an expert at sex. But everyone’s different. Sex with someone is a conversation, literally and figuratively.”

“Kat’s a therapist,” I said.

“I’m speaking to you as a woman who had several sexual partners before I married Jackson,” Kat said. “What do you think would make you confident?”

“That sounded very therapisty,” Selena teased.

“Sorry,” Kat laughed. “I can’t help it I guess.”

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