Page 88 of Miguel

“What are you sorry for?” she asked.

“I just hate seeing you like this.”

“I’ll bounce back. I always do.”

Something in her tone had me examining her more closely. “Does…does this happen to you often?”

She blinked rapidly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean do you get caught in club stuff often?” I gestured at her back. Fear sliced through me like lightning and I had to fight back the involuntary shudders my body threatened to give.

Understanding lit her eyes. She adjusted her body, the bed beneath her squeaking with the effort. I tried to stop her, but she nudged me away as she forced herself up into a sitting position. By the time she was facing me, she was out of breath and panting, her features contorted in pain.

“Look,” she began, an edge to her voice. “Los Diablos are criminals.” I winced at the descriptor and she frowned at me. “It’s true. And that’s something you need to get into your head now before you take this any further with Miguel. They’re criminals and that’s not going to change. For me, for you, for anybody. I don’t know exactly what it is they do, because Ink doesn’t tell me. None of them get their Viejas involved in their shit, but just know that they’re ethical criminals. Have they murdered? Yes. Will they continue to do so? Yes. But in this fucked up world we live in, there are far worse things someone can be. Rapists, traffickers, kidnappers, entitled gringos…” She shuddered with mock horror. “There are far worse things, Pecas. They could be awful men on the inside, but they aren’t. They’re good men who do bad things sometimes to protect their family and the people they love.”

“But will those bad things touch their families every time?” My voice cracked as I asked the question.

Her expression softened. “That’s not something that can be promised, Pecas. We have no idea what the future holds. The future can’t be promised, but what can be promised is that Los Diablos will be there to save you from anything and everything. Every fucking time. And if that’s something you can live with, then you stay and you fight for your Viejito just like he’ll fight for you.”

I leaned back, tearing my hand from hers as I marinated the words through my mind. I lifted my hands to swipe at the tears that had stained my cheeks. I didn’t want to walk out of her house with the evidence of my emotions so plainly written on my face, but I was sure my eyes were already red and puffy.

“It’ll be okay, Pecas,” Xiomara whispered, her voice growing softer. “If you can trust in anything, trust that.”

I nodded.

Xiomara’s eyes lifted over my shoulder and she smiled. “How long have you been eavesdropping, feito?” she teased.

I turned, finding Ink looming near the threshold. He frowned at her and stomped into the room. “You shouldn’t be sitting up,” he admonished in the growly voice of his.

“Did Misa end?” Xiomara’s eyes shone with mirth and she didn’t immediately lay back down on the bed like Ink silently demanded.

“Yes,” he growled. “Why aren’t you resting?”

“You’re so rude. You realize we have visitors, right?”

Ink rolled his eyes and gently grabbed Xiomara’s arms, guiding her back down on the bed. She obeyed. The process was arduous and painful, and by the time she was face-down on the bed again, she was out of breath and near sobbing.

“I think you should go,” Ink told me. It wasn’t said in a rude way, but I could hear the worry bleeding through his voice. I understood and didn’t want to intrude on their time.

I didn’t know either of them well enough, but from what I had gathered, Ink and Xiomara loved each other fiercely. He’d almost lost her and seeing her like this was probably very difficult for him.

“Ink,” Xiomara snapped, her voice muffled in her blankets. “Don’t be rude.”

I stood up, wiping my palms against my clothes. “It’s fine. I’m going to head home. If you need anything please let me know.” I made sure to look into Ink’s eyes, unflinching from his terrifying gaze. “Bothof you.”

He nodded before turning his attention back to Xiomara. I stood a second longer, observing as he dropped to his knees and whispered into her ear, low enough so I couldn’t hear. His palm pushed aside errant strands of hair and he leaned close to press a kiss to her temple.

The moment was so intimate it hurt to look at. It felt like an invasion of privacy, so I forced myself to turn and walk away. Even as I gathered Zeke, thanked Xio’s mother, and walked out with the prospect trailing behind, I couldn’t help but repeat her words over and over in my head.

All the emotions I didn’t know how to deal with became clearer when I left her home. Maybe it was because Xiomara was wise, maybe it was because she was so passionate. Or maybe it was because seeing the way Ink got down on his knees to express his love touched something inside me and made me realize that it didn’t matter what happened or how chaos rained down around us.

I wanted Miguel. I wanted a future with him.

And I wasn’t giving him up.

Chapter Thirty-four

Miguel

---