After that night, I swore to myself I’d never live with him again unless I was his. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want to live with him?” Mom asks. “It’s okay if you don’t.”
That’s the problem; I do. “I don’t know, Mom.”
“Have you two discussed anything?” Maeve asks, and Ingrid flashes me an “I’m sorry they’re intrusive” look.
“No,” I admit. “It’s been really busy with Arwen and coming home.”
Mom nods in understanding, taking my hand. “You should sit down and talk. We can watch Arwen.”
“Especially since he’s leaving for a week,” Maeve says, and I hate how my stomach drops at that. I’ve let myself forget that he’s a professional hockey player and it’s the middle of the season.
That he leaves.
Fuck, he’ll be gone.
Why does that make me want to cry?
I swallow hard as I nod, but it’s Ingrid who says, “I’ll schedule a time since neither of them will.”
Maeve snorts at that, while Mom sighs. My gaze volleys between the two of them. “What?” I ask, and Mom gives me a small smile.
“It’s just that you two are very frustrating.”
I cock my head at her. “How so?”
Maeve chuckles. “Well, the fact that you two have been in love since you were kids but never acted on it and denied it at every turn is a start.”
“Then you two get together, fight, and you run,” Mom adds, giving me a look. “Not surprised, though. God forbid you allow yourself to be vulnerable to the one person you call your best friend.”
“How do you know we haven’t?” I ask incredulously. “You know nothing, only what you observe.”
I don’t miss the way they look at Ingrid, and I glare. “Once more, tossing my ass under the bus.”
Ingrid holds her palms up before she starts to speak and sign, “In my defense, I only said Thatcher hasn’t admitted how he feels and takes only what you’ll give him.”
I scrunch up my face. What the hell? I would give him everything. Anything.
I glare at the three of them as annoyance burns through my body. “And also, no one actually read what I wrote in my letters. I told you guys not to blame him, that it was my choice and I’m just as much at fault.”
Maeve’s unsmiling expression hits me in the gut. “It was very hard to accept, and he wouldn’t budge on what happened. It was easier to blame him, even if it was wrong.” I see tears welling in her eyes, and I feel awful for bringing it up. “We just wanted you back.”
“And he wouldn’t tell us anything. Only that he’d fucked up and that he’d make it better,” Ingrid adds. “It was hard, Audrina. We didn’t understand.”
“And we were hurt,” Mom says, and my stomach feels hollow.
“I really am sorry,” I whisper, the emotion thick in my throat. “But it’s not all on him. I hurt him before he hurt me, and while it’s all really messy, I do want to figure it out with him.”
Well, look at me, being vulnerable.
But not to him…
“As you should, at your earliest convenience,” Ingrid demands, her eyes pleading with mine. “All we want is for you two to be happy. And as crazy as it may seem, you are happiest together.”
“Especially now that Arwen is here,” Maeve adds, and Mom nods, pride shining in her brown eyes.
Unsure what to say, I’m thankful when Don and Dad come in through the door from the garage. They greet everyone beforethey both come over toward me. But to my surprise, instead of my dad kissing my temple or hugging me, he hip checks me to the side.