Page 56 of The Sweetest Chirp

“Who messed up very badly,” she says with conviction in her gaze. “You have always been in his corner, always loved him, and for him to hurt you like that, I need him to sweat and try hard to get back in your good graces.”

I shake my head. “You’re ruthless.”

She shrugs. “I’m loyal.”

That’s the damn truth. I exhale heavily. “He’s chipping away at my walls.”

“Yeah, he’s always been able to do that.”

“I know,” I agree. “And I knew seeing him as a dad would make me fall for him all over again.”

Her eyes search mine. “Would that be so bad?”

I swallow, my heart picking up in speed. “It is when I’m not sure I can trust him not to hurt me again.” I look down at where we are still holding hands. When I remember she needs to see my lips, I look up to her waiting gaze. “Right now, he wants to be in Arwen’s life, and in doing so, he needs me.”

“Or…he’s hopelessly in love with you and wants you because of that.” She gives me a look. “You two have always sucked at communication. And you both can hear and speak just fine, so it’s a whole lot of frustrating.”

I gawk at her. “What? We communicate!”

“No. You dance around together but never pass the surface level. You’ve been in love with each other since we were kids, yet you guys play this best friend game. It’s pathetic. Just talk, figure out what you both want, and make it happen.”

I blink at her honesty. She’s not wrong. We have been together but not together for years. It was insane, but it was our normal. I don’t want to fall back into that. Into a situation where we are just Arwen’s parents, when we could be more.

Shit, do I want more?

“It’s so complicated.”

“Because you guys are making it so,” she throws back at me. “Sit down and talk.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Why not? You can talk about everything under the sun, but God forbid you have to talk about what you’re feeling. It’s silly. More than three years you spent apart because you couldn’t tell each other how you feel? How you make each other feel?”

I can’t help but think what if what he said three years ago was how he really felt.

But what if he is only being nice to me now because of Arwen?

It’s just so overwhelming, and I don’t know if I’m able to put myself out there again for him to ruin.

But what if I’m holding myself back from what I’ve always wanted?

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Arwen lets out a little squeal when I walk through the door.

She’s so animated, her eyes bright and wide as she signs,Mommy is so pretty! I want hair like that.

I snort as I pick her up, kissing her cheeks. She giggles as I sit her on the counter and sign back,But you have such pretty dark hair. I love your hair.

It’s my daddy’s and Aunt Ingrid’s hair,she says proudly, and I give her little nose a boop.

Very true. How are your ears?

She grimaces.Baba put a towel on them, and they feel a little better.

Maeve shrugs, her own frown on her face. “She’d started to complain when we were shopping. So when we got home, I thought it’d help.”

I appreciate that she signs and talks, but then, it’s her normal. I tuck Arwen’s hair behind her ears. “I might take her back in. I was hoping it would stop hurting by now.”

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