Page 17 of The Sweetest Chirp

“I was hurt and pissed.”

“And you broke my heart.”

Her words hurt more than they should. “That is something I’ll continue to apologize for for the rest of my life. But Audrina, it didn’t need to be like that. Damn it, we’ve fought plenty of times, but what made this time so different? You ran after a fight and hid my kid?”

She doesn’t look the least bit apologetic. “You said, don’t come back without proof of the baby being yours. Sorry I couldn’t afford it.”

I glare, my whole body on alert, but she glares right on back. She may think she’s changed, but all I see is the girl I’ve been obsessed with my whole life. The fire in her eyes, making them so bright, renders me breathless. Her lips are pressed so tightly together that they’re white, while her dainty little nose is up inthe air. Stubbornness is one of her main traits, and before, I loved it. But now, I want to wring her damn neck.

She’s not going to back down at all. Her dad always called her his little princess, but I knew Audrina was a queen. She knows what she wants, she knows what to do to get it, and she’ll never back down. Problem is, I’ve never been on the receiving end of that stubbornness. We may have fought, but we always made up. I don’t know what to do here, because she’s right—things have changed.

I may still be so utterly in love with her that it hurts, but I broke us.

She replaced me with our child, and now I’ve gotta figure out where I fit into the life she’s made. If that means giving her a whole new puzzle and begging her to build it with me, I will do just that. Because this woman is mine.

And that will never change.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Iwas prepared for screaming, for him to rush in and tear me up one side and down the other, but instead, he’s calm. Thatcher’s emotions play across his face. I can see every single one, but he is choosing his words carefully.

And I don’t know how to handle it.

Seeing him, watching his fists ball up and tears flood his eyes, leaves me feeling like we’re going round for round. He leaves me black and blue with each flicker of pain along his face. Like I knew I would, all I want is for him to never leave. It’s so frustrating, so damn confusing, and I truly don’t know what to do here.

He hurt me. Yet I’m sitting here wishing he were still mine? How does that make sense? He makes me crazy.

His voice is low, tortured as he says, “I said all that out of anger and pain.”

“That doesn’t change what you said,” I throw back at him as I get up to reach for my phone, hoping the doctor has gotten back to me.

No luck.

“You’re right, but I wish you had given me a chance to right my wrongs.”

“Why? You were right,” I say, tossing my phone aside and sitting up. “I was the team whore.”

I wasn’t. I only slept with Dart once, which was a mistake, and then with Thatcher, which was a need. So really, two out of thirty guys doesn’t make me a whore. It’s only .06%. I’m not even on the whore radar, and it took years for me to realize that. But at the time, when I believed his words, when I saw anger in his eyes because I’d hurt him, well, that took up 100% of my heart and broke me.

“That’s not true. Nothing I said was true. I was in so much pain,” he tries, but I only shake my head. “I worked my knee in ways that were not approved by the doctor the night before, and then I had PT that morning. I came in hot and exploded on you, Audrina.”

I ignore the memory. “It doesn’t matter,” I say, but both of us know that’s not the truth. If it didn’t matter, I wouldn’t have hidden for more than three years.

“You didn’t have to leave like that, though,” he says softly, his words pleading.

“Maybe not, but I couldn’t face you—or anyone, for that matter,” I admit. “Everyone was there. Everyone heard what you said. You humiliated me.”

Silence stretches between us, the only sound Arwen’s soft breathing. Her little face is so red, and I hate seeing her sick. Especially when I know he’s right. If she had good ear gear, better care than the backwoods of Virginia can provide me with, she’d be better off. It’s been getting worse lately. I have been calling different health care providers all over the state, but it’s so hard to find a good specialist who takes self-pay.

I need to have a plan because Thatcher won’t walk away without knowing I have one. Hell, I’m not even sure he’d walk away if I did have one. I always knew if I told him about Arwen, he’d force himself into my life. And fuck, as much as I love looking at him, love loving him, it hurts to be in the same room with him. For so long, I thought he cared for me, but the things he said just shattered me.

“Audrina.” It’s only my name, but the way he says it carries a heavy plea. My eyes burn as I shrug and reach for one of Arwen’s Bluey blankets and place it between her little hands. She likes to hold something as she sleeps. I lean down, pressing my lips to her temple. Her fever isn’t as bad as it was when I first came up here, and I’m thankful for that. I reach up, careful as I pull off her ear gear. She whimpers, and my stomach clenches at the sound.

“Audrina,” Thatcher groans, coming toward the bed. His presence is huge, taking up the whole space around us as he hovers over us. “That has to hurt.”

“Which is why I’m taking it off,” I snap at him, and to my surprise, he sits on the side of the bed with such a look of helplessness. I hate seeing him like that, and that confuses meeven more. I don’t know how to navigate this. It’s why I ran the way I did, why I stayed gone as soon as I learned I was pregnant. His opinion of me used to mean so much to me, and I hate that it still does.

What the hell did the time apart do?

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