Page 31 of The Sweetest Chirp

When Eli pulls out the paperwork, I still as I listen to him explain how he spent the previous day at the courthouse getting the correct forms and securing us a court date for the morning. He’s apparently close friends with the judge in Richmond, and instead of having us go up there, he will do our appointment virtually.

When Eli asks if we’re sure of the paternity, I’m blown away by the certainty in Thatcher’s voice. “She is mine.”

I swallow past the lump in my throat as I only nod. Eli nods in agreement and types some more on his computer. “Are we suing for full custody?”

My head whips to Thatcher, but he’s cool as a cucumber. “No, we will raise Arwen together.”

Eli looks up at him over the top of his computer. “That’s not what you said yesterday.”

I gawk at him, but he pays me no mind. “I was high on emotions and not thinking clearly. Arwen needs her mother as much as she needs me. We’ll do this together.” My heart aches as I watch him in awe. He makes it seem so simple. Like no time has passed and no pain has been caused. It’s insane, and the guilt washes over me in waves. How can he be so calm when I feel like I’m about to break? Slowly, Thatcher’s gaze locks with mine. “I was wrong for what I said last night. I don’t want to strong-arm you or force you into anything. I want you towantto raise Arwen with me. I promise to be the best father to her.”

It’s hard to get words out around the lump in my throat. “I know you will.”

“And I’ll be respectful of you and what you want. I know it’s a hard ask with our past and how big of an asshole I’ve been, but I’ll beg if need be. While moments of our history aren’t the greatest, there are still some that are. I think if we lean into that part, we can raise our daughter together.”

I’m rendered speechless as he holds my gaze. Eli doesn’t seem the least bit affected by Thatcher’s speech and asks, “So fifty-fifty?”

“No,” Thatcher says once more. “One hundred for both of us.”

Eli’s brows pull together, and finally, I find my voice. “How will that work?”

“I don’t know yet, but we’ll figure it out,” he says confidently. “Together.”

“But you’re not together, correct?” Eli asks, and I shake my head along with Thatcher. “So, it’d be safer to do this fifty-fifty. Split the time between the two of you. Maybe do one week on, one week off.”

My heart seizes in my chest, but before I can even acknowledge my feelings and fight his suggestion, Thatcher says, “Absolutely not. I’m not going to have my parents raise her when I’m on road trips. She will need her mother, and with all the changes, I don’t want to stress Audrina and Arwen out any more than necessary.”

A chill runs down my spine as I inhale deeply, letting it out in a whoosh. I’m shocked by the man beside me; I almost don’t recognize him. But then, that’s to be expected when over three years pass. People change, especially when something painful happens between them. “So, what are you thinking?” I find myself asking, and Thatcher meets my gaze.

“I’ll spend whatever time I have with you two,” he says, like it’s common knowledge. I don’t miss that he says you two instead of just Arwen. His promise has my skin tingling. “We will figure it out as we go. I don’t want to tear you two apart. I want to be a part of what you’ve built.”

Without him. He doesn’t say it, but I can read the ending to that sentence in his eyes.

“But we aren’t together,” I stress, my eyes burning into his.

“I’m not saying we are. I’m saying I want to raise our child together.”

“Thatcher, with all due respect, what happens when you both find other partners?” Eli asks, as if that’s the biggest issue here.

Thatcher’s jaw goes tight, but his eyes don’t leave mine. “I won’t.” His eyes are so serious, his features taut as he holds my gaze. “My only focus will be my daughter.”

And me.

I know he doesn’t say it, but damn it, I feel it in my bones.

His words have me in knots, and I know I’m in so much trouble.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I’m pretty sure Eli is wondering where my balls went, but honestly, I don’t care.

I was wrong last night, but hell, I’ve been wrong about everything when it comes to her.

I had spent the night going back and forth about how everything played out. I went over the whole day from the moment I saw her until the moment I walked out the door, tears in my eyes as Arwen cried for me. I didn’t want to leave them. It gutted me to know I wouldn’t be there to protect them. What if Arwen’s fever came back? What if Audrina decided to take off? I knew right as that thought came across my brain that I couldn’t live without them.

When Audrina told me that there would never be an us and that she’d never put herself out there for me to break again, it took everything in me not to drop to my knees and beg her to take it all back. I have known this girl my whole life, and she looked at me like a stranger. Like I’m nothing to her. I thought her leaving for three years was hard. Or finding out I had a kid. Nope, none of that made me feel as low as the way she looked at me and the words she said.

But fuck that.

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