Page 37 of Tormented in Silence: Part One

“Ben, I think we should take a breath. Maybe let’s just sleep on this, okay? Do you want to stay tonight? We can talk in the morning about getting divorced and what we will do about raising the baby together.” I knew I fucked up the second the last word left my mouth by the look of pure rage on his face.

He gets in my face, his hot breath blowing over my cheeks, “Is it even my baby?” He runs a finger down my chest on the open part of the dress between my breasts. “I’m not so sure it is now that I know you are fucking around with bikers,” he spits angrily.

He doesn’t give me time to process his words before he yanks me back by my hair and pulls me farther into my apartment. I scream, but before I can get much out, some kind of cloth is shoved into my mouth. He hits me repeatedly in the face, knocking me to the ground before moving away and grabbing a chair from my kitchen table. He pulls it to where I am still on the floor in-between the kitchen, living room, and hall entrance. He pulls me up, leaving red marks on my arms from his harsh grip, and slams me down onto the chair before tying me to it.

I try to scream again, but it comes out muffled, and I know none of my neighbors will be able to hear it. I twist and turn but can’t get out of the rope he used to tie me down. He sets his gun on the counter and grabs a kitchen knife from the knife block. He walks back over and stands in front of me with a smile, running the knife he is holding over his lips and spinning it in his hand.

Bile rises in my throat, but I try to push it back down. My face is streaked with tears as I feel my world crumbling. I don’t think I ever truly knew the man standing in front of me. I try to speak, but he can’t understand me with this cloth in my mouth.

I don’t think he is going to listen to me anymore. I can only try to pray to a God I don’t believe in to protect my child now.

It’s going to be okay, sweetling. It’s going to be okay. It has to be.

He paces in front of me, pulling on his unkempt hair, muttering to himself. My pulse thumps under my skin. I try to take deep breaths, attempting to tamp down the terror I feel, knowing I need to keep myself in check for my little one.

I need to get this cloth out of my mouth so I can speak. He just needs to hear me and not do anything rash. I’ll even leave with him. I don’t care anymore. I just need all of us to come out of this alive.

He turns sharply and stomps over to me. He runs the knife down my chest, over my stomach, and stops right at my belly button. I tense. It feels like the world stops moving. The room that was just spinning with my fear and shock is now standing still, frozen in place. Everything that could’ve been slowly flashes before my eyes.

I look directly into his eyes, pleading with him not to do this. I scream as hard as I can through the gag. I pull on my restraints, feeling the blood dripping from them cutting into the skin. As I keep yanking, I can't feel the pain. My need to get away, to get him to listen, overrides any pain I may feel.

He can’t do this. It took us three years.

I thought getting pregnant wasn’t an option. I tried everything to get pregnant. When that day finally came, when that test read positive, my world changed. I went from feeling lost to having hope. Knowing that this sweet baby would be my destiny.

He can’t take that from me. He loves me.Right?He loves this baby.Right?He won’t take this away from us.

Everything comes rushing back to real time as he lifts the knife. I refuse to look away from his eyes as he slams it down straight into my right thigh. A shriek comes out of me, dulled by the cloth. Sobbing and choking on my spit, I try to control my breathing. The pain is unlike anything I’ve felt before. He smiles at me.

“Look at you. You ruined everything. You turned me into this monster. You think I want to do this? I don’t! But you wouldn’t listen. You didn’t obey. You were such a good doll. For years, you were perfectly obedient. Even when you couldn’t get knocked up. You still did everything I said. Then when you got knocked up, you changed.”

He slowly removes the knife from my leg. Tears burn my eyes at the searing pain of the knife being pulled out. Blood pools and drips down my leg, my vision getting blurry from the blood loss.

“Now I wonder if it’s because it wasn’t mine,” Ben seethes, and I shake my head.

That’s not true!I want to scream.

He raises the knife again and stabs my left thigh. I cry out and try to jerk the chair away, but I can’t.Please stop,I beg with my eyes. Staring into the eyes I once loved. The eyes that are now cold and dead.

He runs the knife all over my body, leaving minor cuts as he goes. I maintain eye contact, trying to plead with my gaze.Please, Ben.It feels like hours pass before he finally ends this torment. He steps back and looks me over like I am a piece of artwork. He nods to himself and mutters something under his breath.

He steps back up to me and taps the knife on my cheek, leaving a wet and warm smear of blood behind. “I’m sorry, my beautiful girl. But this is all your fault.” He tsks with a headshake. “I was going to make it painless for you, but I just can’t watch the love of my life die. So I’m going to have to make it more painful for you so I can leave while you’re still alive.” He frowns like that thought hurts him.

I shake my head, screaming so hard my throat hurts. I twist and turn, trying to get out of the restraints. I can’t. I’m stuck. I’m going to die. I’m losing too much blood, and I can feel my body getting weaker. My mind is slowly going numb.

I shut my eyes. Maybe… Maybe he’ll avoid my belly, so if someone finds me, they have a chance to save the baby.Please.

Nothing happens, and I open my eyes to see him on his knees frowning at my stomach. “I’m so sorry. I never wanted to do this. This is your mom’s fault. She killed you. You don’t want to be a bastard’s child. It should have been mine.”

Oh, my god. He truly believes what he is saying. How is this the same Ben I knew my entire life?

He draws back the hand with the knife. My eyes close. The tears stop as my mind goes numb to the pain he is about to inflict on me. Not the physical, the mental. He is stealing my baby.

A girl.

He slices my arm.

She cried.

---