Page 78 of Brutal Savior

His hands are still shaking. I hand him my drink and he takes a sip before continuing.

“They got a call from a teacher about a young girl, seven years old, able to speak and write like an adult. But what she wrote was sick stuff. She wrote about hurting her toddler brother and baby sister. Shutting the baby in the washing machine. Tearingthe brother’s ears off. And when the school tried to contact her mum, she couldn’t string a sentence together. They got worried.”

Ears. I touch mine reflexively as that sharp memory surfaces. Tearing pain and helpless fear.

“Social did a check, and of course, the place was a shithole. Your mum passed out, filth everywhere, you kids half starved. They took you all into emergency care. All three of you, Jacob. You, Ruth, and your older sister, Kelly.”

Kelly. It’s such an ordinary name, but something stirs deep in my memory. As soon as it does, my mind skitters away from it.

Don’t go there. It’s not safe.

“It took a few days for me to get back from the rigs. During that time, the three of you stayed with a foster family. They had a little girl, two years old. Your sister…” He takes a long, shuddering breath. “Your sister pushed her down a flight of stairs. The mum saw her do it. Pushed her and just walked away. She was okay, but…”

He shakes his head. A creeping suspicion starts at the back of my mind. I can see where this is heading. I can see it, and it’s fucking horrible. I close my eyes, and Grandad continues.

“Social brought some headshrinkers in to look at your sister. They interviewed you and your mum. They spent time with Kelly. When I got there, I stayed in a hotel for a few days while I sorted out my house, and they gave me some options.”

He closes his eyes. Sadness rolls off him as he continues. “They told me you kids weren’t safe around Kelly. Unless I could keep a watch on her twenty-four hours a day, you’d be at risk. How could I do that?” He looks at me, eyes glistening and a pleading note in his voice.

“I was already lost with how I was going to raise a little boy and a baby. Your nan did all the hard stuff first time ’round. I was terrified. Then they gave me another option.”

“What option?” It’s hardly more than a whisper, but Grandad flinches.

“They’d keep Kelly in care. They promised me it’d be better for her. A safe environment, where she couldn’t hurt herself or anyone else. They said they’d help her get better. And Jacob, I—”

His shoulders shake. My breath freezes as his words cut off, choked in a sob. For too long, I just stare at him. This is uncharted water, and I don’t know which way to fucking paddle. My mind is drowning, sinking under too many shocks.

Then another sob chokes out of him, and I unfreeze. I wrap my arm around his back. He’s smaller than I remember. “It’s okay.”

“I gave her up.”

His shoulders shake again, and I pull him into a hug. My heart is about to fucking break. How has he managed all these years? Staying silent, keeping strong for us kids, whilst carrying the guilt of the choice he made. I’ve done some things that will haunt me forever, but nothing as difficult as that.

Grandad takes long, deep breaths, working to get hold of himself. “They told me she’d gone to a special foster home where they knew how to handle difficult kids. I asked if I could visit, but they said it wasn’t a good idea. It’d just unsettle her. I didn’t want to make things worse.”

He pulls away, eyes red, and straightens his button-up shirt. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Grandad in a T-shirt. He taught me to take pride in my appearance, even when we were poor as all fuck. He even learnt to sew so we’d never have to go to school with holes in our clothes, even though, rough as I was, I managed to tear a hole in something every week.

He wipes his eyes and smooths his mustache. I’m watching him piece himself back together, bit by bit, and it hurts. He was strong for me for so long. I should be able to take care of him now. I failed him.

“The last update I got, I was told she’d been adopted by a family who knew all about her tendencies and wanted to give her a chance anyway. No kids or pets in the house, and the dad was, I don’t know, some sort of doctor or headshrinker. One of those sorts. I never heard anything else.”

“Did I ask about her? I don’t think I remember her, but…” The memories scratch at the edge of my consciousness. Pain. A laugh. Shouting, but no one coming to help.

Grandad’s face hardens. “You remembered for a while, my boy. You used to wake up screaming every night, scared she was standing at the end of your bed. I never got the full story of what she did to you, but it must have been bad. After a while, you started to think it was just nightmares.’

His eyes meet mine. “The nights I couldn’t sleep for the guilt of what I’d done, I’d think about how scared you were and knew I’d made the right choice. I don’t regret it. I did what I had to do to protect you and Ruth.”

“And you did.” My throat is getting thick, and I look down. “I owe everything to you.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, don’t get all mushy on me, lad. You’re not turning into some soppy Yank just because we live here.”

His usual spark of grouchy humor is back, and I want to hug him for it, but I don’t. He needs things to be normal, and that’s fine with me. He stares around at the hotel room like it’s the first time he’s really taken it in.

“Not bad here. What happens now? I stay here for a few days, then we find me a new place?”

I pause, mind clicking back into focus. I’d thought I was the target, but what if I’m not? If Kelly—I can’t think of her as my sister yet—really hates anyone, surely Grandad must be at the top of her list. He’s the one who gave her up.

What if he’s the real target, and hurting me and Ruth was only a way to hurt him by proxy? Either way, none of it reallymatters. Now I know who’s hunting him, I’m not trusting him to the fucking Gilda. After the Calders abducted Eve, Kendrick tightened security at the Compound even further. There’s nowhere safer.

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