Page 55 of Joined By Magic

The desire to argue died a solid death, and I set the newsbook down. “I need to go to town. We’re running low.”

For once, the prince didn’t quiz me. The news from home had put him in a buoyant mood. “Don’t be long. And pick up some of those liquorice wheels, you know the ones.”

A sad laugh forced its way out. He’d become addicted to the disgusting treats, a fact I usually found hilarious. Now it only made me depressed. I grabbed my bag, put on my layers, and fled the house.

I walked as fast as I could, but a painful lump grew in my belly, and I couldn’t outrun it. Before I reached the chairlifts, I had to stop and wipe away tears that left chilly tracks on my cheeks.Stupid.Why was I being so stupid? Nothing had changed. In the palace, I’d loved being the prince’s Favorite. It was a good life, and running the Collection kept me happy and busy. I could make a difference. So why did the thought of returning to it leave me feeling hollow?

The picture on the front of the newsbook flashed into my brain, and I recoiled from it. That was the problem. I’d always be the prince’s secret lover. An open secret, maybe. One that everyone knew about, but hidden away. He’d never be photographed with me. Never use my name in public or allow me to speak to him directly. Never admit to anyone, not even himself, that I was more than a palace slut for which he’d gained a little fondness. I’d pushed the hurt down before, ignored it as I had no other options.

Now I did.

I reached the chairlift, flew up the cliffs without enjoying the thrill, and found myself rooted to the spot outside Katrin’s shop. Indecision swirled in a sickening flood through my body, ripping at my insides. What did I want to do? Continue on the path I’d forged for myself, or veer off into the unknown? Run away from the man who’d killed for me over and over, who’d protected me, and who did care for me, in his own way. Could I do it to him?

I tried to imagine him if he discovered me gone. What would he feel? Raging anger, sadness, disappointment. Would he chase after me, or dismiss me as not worth it? So many questions I couldn’t answer, but they weren’t the most pressing one.

Did I want to go?

Yes.

The weight in my belly tripled in size as I faced the truth of it. If this man, whoever he was, could get my sister out of Atar and give us fabricated papers, then I’d take the freedom if I could. The thought of it ripped me in two, but the decision felt right.

I sniffed and wiped away the last of my tears. With a deep breath, I pushed open the door to Katrin’s shop.

Two hours later, I returned home. Silence greeted me as I stepped out of my heavy boots and hung up my coat. The prince sat by the fire, his feet resting on an ottoman, eyes closed. He’d been working long and erratic hours, perfecting his new weapon.

I set down the bag of liquorice quietly on the table, but his eyes flew open anyway. He was a light sleeper at the best of times, an insomniac at the worst. A lazy smile touched his lips when he saw the sweets. “You remembered.”

“Of course.”

My voice sounded weird to my ears. Echoey and false. Loaded with guilt. All in my imagination, probably, but I faked a cough anyway. I forced myself to relax and act natural as I took a seat beside him. His hand slid onto my leg, and he blinked, sitting up. “What time is it?”

“Just after four.”

He sighed, and his gaze fell on the door to the room he used as a lab, then he shook his head. “I can’t work anymore today. Let’s play a game. Kataris or vectra?”

I pretended to consider the question, though inwardly, everything was screaming. I didn’t want him to be nice. Didn’t want to indulge in any of our favorite pastimes. I’d hoped he’d be cruel and vicious as soon as I walked in the door, to assuage some of the sick guilt rolling through me. Of course he had to be in a good mood.

“Vectra. I need to get you back for the last one. I should have taken it.”

He laughed, a genuine one. “You weren’t even close. Would you like a handicap this time to give you a shot at success?”

Fighting words. I glared at him. “Of course not. When I finally win, it’ll be on equal terms.”

“Or never.” He smirked at me and waved a hand at the cabinet. “Get it set up.”

I huffed as I moved to obey his command, but my chest ached. I’d miss this. I’d miss it so fucking much I wondered if I’d made the wrong choice. If I should find an excuse to race back to town and tell Katrin I changed my mind. To cancel the meeting with her friend, which she’d organized for two days’ time. Maybe I should.

No. As I set up the pieces on the gameboard, I resolved to stay strong. I’d set things in motion. I’d made my decision. I needed to stick with it.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Talia

Twodayscrawledby,sleepless and filled with anxiety. The prince worked night and day on his weapon, muttering about how close he was to completing it. One way or another, my time in this town was coming to an end. At least he barely glanced up when I told him I needed to head back into Ghasul.

The day was even icier than usual, and my toes froze in my boots as I walked. I’d been reading up on all the cold places in the world. Countries so chilly, icicles would form on your eyelashes, and people slid down snowy mountains strapped to boards for fun. I’d never seen snow, but it looked soft and fluffy. I wanted to feel it, to throw myself into a pile of it. I kept my dreams and fantasies playing on repeat as I approached the town. Anything to drown out the guilt that threatened to choke me. If I didn’t do this, I’d never see snow. Never breathe daytime air that wasn’t hot. The thought depressed me and urged me onwards.

Katrin ushered me into her shop with exaggerated caution. “I’ll be over at the pub when you’re done.”

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