Page 47 of Ruled By Magic

I yelled, a strangled noise of disappointment. My lower belly clenched in painful, unsatisfied need.

“On your knees,” he ordered.

My body was slow to obey. I slid backwards onto my feet and turned to face him, sinking down. I turned my head up, eyes wide, and he stared right at me as he pumped his cock three times and exploded. Warm ropes of come splashed across my face and I gasped. The salty taste hit my lips, and shame lanced through me. The pure degradation of it. As if I were worthless, an object to be defiled.

He looked down at me, disinterested and cold. I silently begged for something. For his expression to soften. For him to help me to my feet and call me his good girl. I’d done degrading things before, but he always praised and petted me after. Stroked my hair, kissed my forehead, told me how much I’d pleased him. It turned a shameful act into a special moment, a shared secret. Not a punishment. I needed his kindness like air, and it scared me.

“Don’t even think about pleasuring yourself.” He strode to his room and slammed the door.

I clutched the necklace, which still gave off a bright glow, as tears rolled down my cheeks.

I lay in bed, watching the window fade from black to orange dawn. Did I want to see him? I couldn’t say. My feelings tangled and snarled. A mess, not helped by an almost sleepless night.

I tried to view the day through his eyes. He’d given me a gift, and what felt like forgiveness, only for me to turn and start a riot. He thought I’d plotted against him. I didn’t blame him for his anger.

But . . .

I couldn’t excuse the cruelty he showed, either. He’d mocked me for my feelings, the desires he’d awakened in me. The more I turned it over in my head, the more unfair it seemed. What about him? We matched, our needs like two puzzle pieces clipped together. If I was twisted, so was he.

And he’d denied me a voice. That hurt the most, far more than the fading marks from his belt. We’d shared so much, but when it came to a crisis, he assumed the absolute worst and punished me without listening to my side. As if I’d confirmed a suspicion, a fear he’d carried all along. Non-mages always went voiceless, unheard. I should have expected it. But after sharing each other’s bodies so intimately for weeks, I’d hoped he might give me the benefit of the doubt, if only for a moment.

I’d been wrong.

I pictured myself on his floor, kneeling, naked. How pathetic I must have looked, how broken. Yet he’d left me there. Taken his pleasure and let me cry. Did he not care for me at all? He’d treated me like a whore. A bitter laugh rose in my throat at that thought. I was his whore. However he treated me, it didn’t change that immutable fact.

I showered and cursed my stupidity. Did my captor, the man who delighted in humiliating me, not care for me at all? He showed kindness when he wanted to. When it suited him. I’d let myself believe my happiness was real, but it wasn’t. I had to harden my heart and grow the fuck up.

My door swung open as I toweled myself dry and I jumped, reflexively tightening the towel around myself. He walked in, dressed for the day, and eyed me with a cold stare. His face was pale, with purple half circles under the eyes. So we’d spent sleepless nights in separate rooms.

“Leo, I—”

He held up a hand. “Lord Commander. No more familiarity.”

“But you need to hear me out.”

“I don’t need to do anything.” The lack of emotion in his voice chilled me. Last night’s anger had been brutal, but real. This man felt like a distant stranger. “I shouldn’t have allowed things to become so—” He broke off, and his forehead creased for just a moment. A flicker of pain? “Our arrangement was very clear. We’ll revert to that. Now I know you can’t be trusted.”

“I had nothing to do with what happened!”

“I told you to come to me. You refused.”

Anger surged up, and I stepped forward. No more cowering. “So because I didn’t heel like a dog when you clicked your fingers, I’m guilty?”

He stared up at the ceiling and took a breath. “You’re forbidden from leaving the apartment. From now on, you only leave in my company or that of a guard assigned by me. My room is off-limits. If you break either of those rules, I’ll have you confined to your bedroom. Prison rules. One hour of exercise a day.”

“Why won’t you just listen to what I’m telling you?”

His hands clenched into fists, and he took a small step toward me. “Last night almost ruined me. Can you understand that? I can’t afford to let myself—”

He closed his eyes and froze, body stiff. When he opened them, that icy mask of calm lay over him. “I won’t be made to look a fool again. Our arrangement will return to what it was supposed to be.”

He turned to leave. My mouth opened and words flew out. “And will you still visit me? Take what you want? Am I still your personal whore?”

He spun, eyes as hot as the word that now lay smoldering between us. “Take what I want? Because you’ve hated every moment, haven’t you? You’ve had three miserable months in my bed.”

An angry retort hovered on my lips, but a flood of memories drowned it. Shared pleasures and intimacy. The discovery of a side of myself I’d never be able to switch off. There had been shame, frustration, and loneliness along with it, but I couldn’t claim to have been miserable. I dropped my gaze.

“That’s what I thought. And to answer your question, I’ll do whatever I want.”

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