Page 18 of Last Ride of the Umbra Fae

When her eyes found mine, her gaze softened. Her freckles reminded me of uncharted constellations I wanted to explore, shimmering and perfectly placed across her nose. In a gentle wisp, they fanned out beneath her eyes, ending at her hairline.

I nearly lost my breath, and possibly my life, just looking at her.

“Gods-damn, woman.” I exhaled.

“What?” She giggled. Her eyes twinkled mischievously.

For the first time, she smiled, really smiled. So wide, I could feel that part of her she kept sealed away, open up.

“You make everything beautiful.”

Her chest sharply rose as her breathing hitched.

Something raw and tantalizing cracked between us, and suddenly, it was really hot.

She opened her mouth to speak but fell silent. She quickly closed it, lashes softly fluttering down as she gave the knife back. “Here.” She sighed, placing it in my hand.

There was no denying the moment we’d shared, but she was holding back, and maybe I was too. It wasn’t the ideal situation, given End’s Wrath was on the other side of this fire. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. I speared another slice into my mouth.

“It tastes just like apple pie,” she finally said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had any of that.” There was a sadness to her, one that I could only surmise was because she was always on the run. I couldn’t understand how something so beautiful could be so devastating at the same time. And here she was, inches from me, not knowing the price so many would pay for her head while she sat and smiled at me. She reached down for another piece and popped it into her mouth. Another hum beneath her breath.

“Same here. I suppose that’s why I prefer to eat my apples this way,” was all I said. I could understand how she felt, how such a simple thing like this could bring so much joy and pain all at once, a reminder of what had been lost.

“Next man I see holding an apple pie, I’ll make sure I put a knife to his gut and take it,” she said, chuckling as she turned her head toward me.

“Well”—I leaned in a little closer—“I’ll keep my eyes peeled for you.” I winked.

“Such a violent man.” She hummed, grabbed a handful of the apple slices with a smirk, and stood. “Violent, violent man.” With a slight shake to her head, she wandered to the mouth of the cave, her ears and hands illuminated beneath the moonlight. As she stood there, eating the remaining pieces, a part of me wondered if she was waiting for Raven to return. I hung my head in irritation as I stood and pulled out my guitar—the only thing that had managed to survive longer than I had—disappearing into the depths of the cave to find a quiet place.

14

Vessa

Everything was going fine until it’d hit me like a wave. I was angry. For the first time, I was in the presence of someone who didn’t make me feel like I was vacant. Ryder was there, in the flesh, laughing and smiling with me. He was in the moment, enjoying the simplicities this fucked-up world had to offer, and he managed to somehow smile through the darkness. It was a side of him I hadn’t expected to see. The radiance in his eyes and how that arrogant cowboy looked at me made me feel…good.

Damn him to hells. I tossed another slice into my mouth.

In my mind, I was soaring above the clouds, looking down at an ominous ocean, glad I wasn’t beneath the waves…until I was, and I crashed through them hard. I was so gods-damn angry about how something so simple could rip open the memories ofher. Ma always made the best apple pie, and I hated the feeling of missing her. The undertow of grief swept me away to this cliffside as I silently held back my sobs, and tried to enjoy the delicious apple. I was losing the fight against my own tears as the Desert of Miera became a blur. My sister’s excited nudge carved a phantom pain across my heart, remembering how she would stir me awake to say Ma had been making our favorite.

Fuck the hells.

I’d sensed the fall the moment my knees were brought to my chest—a kick to the gut once the flavors had settled in.

I couldn’t risk Ryder seeing me break, nor Pa hearing any muffled sobs. I looked over my shoulder to the empty space where Ryder had been, then to Pa. He hated seeing me cry. He didn’t want to see it at all, actually. I had to lock away my pain and release it anywhere I could. All this time, I’d fed these lands nothing but death, relishing in taking lives along with their coins and watering its soil with their blood. Maybe that’s why I had always been a wreck and a monster. Because he’d forced me to become one.

At least my stomach wasn’t growling anymore. Who knew when Raven would be back?

Every breath I took burned the muscles in my body. Another inconvenience, stroking its reminder that I was completely screwed. I needed more tonic, but I was too prideful to ask.

Sighing, I wiped my cheeks and walked back into the cave, staring at the empty space again. With Raven gone and Pa asleep, despite feeling fatigued, I decided to find Ryder. Maybe he could help me forget again, even if it was for a short while.

15

Ryder

Iwalked deeper inside the cave in complete darkness, allowing my memory to guide me. The air grew thicker, the scent muskier as I ran my fingers along its walls. When the condensation dampened my fingertips, I knew when to take a right. A few more left turns, and I would have complete privacy. I had once read bats navigated through the dark by echolocation, so I hummed a little tune and plucked my guitar, testing to hear how far the sound went. Though others had deemed that kind of literature useless, I preferred to weave the knowledge into my own. Sure, I could use my wind, the power ofNai, but it was the challenge I sought most. I was close enough to a hot spring to dull any sound, the stone walls so thick, my voice was now a prisoner in its confinements. As my eyes adjusted, I took notice of the few glowworms emitting a dim light above, faint but enough to see where the trickle of water was coming from. I watched it drip into a large puddle on the other side.

I stood in place for a moment longer before waving my hand to summon someone who made my damn skin crawl.

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