Page 56 of Sugar Coated

“Hey,” he spoke quietly. “You all right?”

All I did was stare up at him. Given everything, he should already know the answer. Still, he stood there, a few feet away, waiting, clearly expectant. If I said nothing, he’d never leave… although, maybe that wouldn’t be a terrible thing tonight.

His lips were tugged in a frown, his usual expression when he looked at me, although there was something different about it this time. A heaviness that didn’t used to be there. Thatexpression, combined with the fact he still wore a suit, made me feel certain things.

The man could fill in a suit, okay? He wore the clothes like no one else could, all thick, solid muscle beneath the fabric.

When I didn’t say a word, Mike lowered to the ground. Even kneeling before me, he was still a giant in comparison. Regardless of what he was doing or how he was standing, I always felt so small near him, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. If anything, it made me feel protected.

“Damn it, Laina,” he whispered. “Why do you have to be so complicated?” Softer, he asked, “Why couldn’t this be a simple job?”

As much as I wished I had answers for him, I didn’t, so all I did was shrug, and when I did, the frown on his face lessened in its intensity, and he sighed hard.

“I want to kill him,” he muttered. “I want to empty a mag into him, but I know you won’t let me. I—” He paused, grinding his teeth somewhat, like whatever he was about to say didn’t want to come out. “—it kills me knowing he was the one who took you. Whether you see it or not, what he did was wrong. It was wrong, and he doesn’t deserve your affection.”

I couldn’t blame him for feeling like that, but at the same time, I could never bring myself to hate Kieran or what he did. Truly, he opened my eyes—until tonight, I’d thought he was opening my eyes to the sins of my dad, but we were all wrong every now and then.

He went on, “I should stay in your room tonight, to make sure you’re safe.”

“To make sure I’m safe, or to stop Kieran from sneaking in when you’re not around?” As I voiced the question, I watched his hazel gaze narrow at me, and I knew I hit the mark, dead-center.

Mike closed his eyes and turned his head, and though he said not another word, I could practically feel the weight of histhoughts. He couldn’t argue with me, because I was right. The truth about Kieran and what he did was out in the open, and now he felt as if his mistrust for the man was well-placed.

I scooted to the edge of the ottoman, bunching up my dress a bit in the process. Call me psychic, but there was more he wanted to say. Tonight was already a night of truths, so why not just dive right in, hmm? I wasn’t going to let him avoid me any longer.

I reached for his face, setting a hand on the cheek turned away from me and forcing him to turn back toward me, and when I did, he cracked his eyelids open and stared at me from beneath heavy lashes.

“What are you—” Mike took my wrist in his hand and forced it away from his face. “Don’t.”

“No,” I stated with a huff. “You don’t.”

His frown deepened, and after a few moments of intense eye contact, he released my hand and started to get up, like he was going to leave just like that. Things got too intense between us and he was ready to bail and go back to pretending I was nothing but a job to him—but you know what? I was so tired of that game.

I didn’t let him stand. When I realized he was getting up, I grabbed his tie and pulled him back down. He clearly wasn’t anticipating the move, because his guard wasn’t up and he came straight back down to his knees.

“No,” I whispered. “I’m not going to let you keep running away from me.”

“I wasn’t running. I was going to get out of these damn clothes and take a shower—”

“No.” My fingers curled around the end of the tie tighter. “No, you were running, just like you’ve been doing since that night. Why, Mike? Why do you act like being close to me is the worst thing in the world?”

His mouth pursed, and for a moment I didn’t think he was going to answer, but it turned out he was simply taking his time. “I’m not… being close to you isn’t the worst thing in the world, okay? It’s not. It’s the opposite.” His nostrils flared, like he was pissed at himself for saying this. “It’s the opposite, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my line of work, it’s that the best things in life never last. They’re always taken from you too damn soon.”

My heart skipped a beat hearing him say it. In other words, he was scared to lose me. He didn’twantto lose me. “So, what? That mindset is supposed to stop you from having anything good, ever? Nothing lasts forever. Spoiler alert: we all die at the end. But that doesn’t matter. The only thing that should matter is—”

Something stopped me from saying it, but the words were right there, on the tip of my tongue:the only thing that should matter is finding people you love and surrounding yourself with them.What was life if you were always alone? What was the point of anything when you deprived yourself of everything that made you happy?

No life I wanted to live, and no life Mike should live, either.

He swallowed, and he was so close to me I could see his Adam’s apple move. “Let me go, Laina.” A plea. He was as good as begging me to release him by letting go of his tie, when in reality he could easily overpower me and stand, or even undo the tie and let it fall away from his neck.

Lola’s and Fang’s advice about him rose in the back of my mind. Mike had spent nearly his entire life following orders, never chasing anything for himself, and now he was at the point where going after something he wanted felt wrong.

And so, I told him the only thing I could as the determination set in my blood: “No.”

Mike’s only response was to breathe harder, for his chest to rise and fall and his hands to clench against the carpet. For thefirst time in a long time, his stare fell to my mouth—but only for a split second before he attempted to regain his composure and say, “Yes.”

“No.” This time the word was firmer, more of an order. “I’m not going to let you go.” I gave the tie a tug, pulling the man a few inches closer to me. “Stop pretending like I don’t exist. Stop acting like that night was a mistake.”

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