Page 25 of Wandering Closer

“What the fuck,” she whispers. She shifts on the couch, her face is beet red, and eyes downturned.

“Here’s where I need the advice. My publisher, Andrea, is the only other person who knows what happened. She thinks that I should sue for wrongful termination. I am so torn. I’m the onethat was in the wrong. I saw the red flags and ignored them. I should have never gotten involved with a coworker, let alone one that wasn’t verified divorced. I am so ashamed, and I don’t ever want to face him or anyone else there. No one stood up for me. No one reached out to me. I was all alone.” I set my shoulders, letting the anger of it all wash through me again. “But what if I do nothing, and he does it again? Management knew I shouldn’t have been let go, but went with it anyway. There was a high turnover rate with women in the company, but I never put much thought into it. How many others have been taken advantage of or used, then fired when they realized or spoke up? I think I should sue, I’m just not sure I’m strong enough to stand up and speak up.”

I know my voice is weak, my resolve already crumbling again. I can’t stand up against a company of ‘good old boys’. They will eat me alive in a courtroom, paint me as the scorned lover causing problems at work. My shame will be front and center for everyone to see. I hate cheating, absolutely despise it. Yet, there I was, the other woman for two damn years.

I finally get the nerve to turn to Michele, and the only clear emotion on her face is anger. I get it, I’m angry at myself for being so foolish, too. “Lily, I have a lot to say, but the first and most important is that this was not your fault. You were lied to and manipulated and that is on no one but him. Fuck that guy. As a woman, I can tell you for a fact that I have seen red flags after the fact and wanted to smack myself, but when I was in it, I didn’t see them. You wanted to be loved, there’s nothing wrong with that. He took advantage of your love. Can I ask how old he is?”

“Thirty-nine,” I whisper.

“Old enough to know better and to know exactly what he was doing.” Her words are harsh but true, and the cruelty there isn’t aimed at me. She takes a large gulp of her wine, finishingit off before continuing. “I think that, as women, we often know what we want and what we deserve, yet we accept way below that. Not because we have to, or even because it’s easy, but because it’s expected. It’s expected that we take what’s offered, even if it’s scraps, and then we’re told to say thank you for it. We don’t make waves and make noise, especially in a corporate setting because it’s expected that we respect the men around us, even when we don’t get that same respect back. And I’m sorry, but fuck that. Fuck the expectations. Fuck the scraps. Fuck the tiny dick prick that lied and cheated and abused his power, then tossed you aside like trash. You’re more than that, Lily. So much damn more. You should be angry. You should be furious. You should rain down hell on every bastard there and walk away with your head held high. I think it’s time they expect the blowback for their actions. That they be sued and fired and held accountable for being shit human beings. That’s what I think.” She wipes at the tears streaming down her face, while I stare at her open mouthed in awe. “Sorry, I cry when I’m angry,” she mumbles.

“I think I love you,” I squeeze her hand this time, but she pulls me into a tight embrace instead.

“I’m so sorry that happened, but I think you need to fight it. He deserves to pay,” she says in my ear.

“And if you don’t have the strength to do it on your own, then lean on us,” Thoren’s deep voice cuts through the night air. He looks like an avenging god, eyes dark and filled with fire, his fists clenched tight at his sides. I was so distracted with Michele we didn’t see Shadow leave the porch or hear Thoren walk up.

“How much did you hear?” my voice trembles.

“Enough,” he steps up to the porch and kneels in front of me. “I’m with Chele on this. Fuck that guy, and make him pay.” He places one finger under my chin to bring my eyes to his. “Let ushelp. You are not in the wrong here, he was. Please believe that, and let us support you through your next steps.”

His handsome face is blurry through my watery eyes, but before I can wipe them, his thumb is there doing it for me. The sweet action causes more tears to fall. These two beautiful souls who I hardly know, just heard my greatest shame. Here they are anyway, supporting me, comforting me, getting angry with me.

Thoren moves then, standing me up and taking my seat before pulling me into his lap. I try not to, but I lean in taking in his woodsy and clean scent while choking on my sobs. “I’m so sorry,” I rasp out around them, but he just pulls me in tighter to his chest.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Michele adds. “Thoren is right, and we are going to be here holding your hand through whatever your next steps are. We will support whatever your choice is, but I think we both hope it is to take their ass to the cleaners and get fuckface fired.”

A month ago, I was asking how my life was turning out the way it was. What I had done so utterly wrong for it to be taking the turn that it was. I felt defeated, worthless, and utterly alone. One month down the road, and I am living in a dreamy town, pursuing my passion, all while being surrounded by new friends. I don’t want to go back to where I was, but to be able to fully move forward, I need to face the past head on.

Thoren’s hand runs up and down my back, his touch both soothing and searing. His other hand is wrapped in my hair, holding my head against him. His chest rumbles with his quiet whispers telling me that it will be okay, and that he has me now. I let his heat and strength soak into me, taking everything he is offering.

I never expected support from anyone except Andrea in this situation. In my mind, Michele would give me her opinion, but my confession would cause our friendship to drop off. Lastingfriendships are not something I am familiar with. I’m not sure if it’s my quiet nature, my straight and narrow pathways my parents set out for me, my lack of self worth, or even a mix of it all. Having two people here that are making a conscious effort to have my back is shaking me to my core.

With my drying tears, I set my shoulders back, sitting up from where Thoren has me wrapped up in his strong arms. “Thank you. You’re right, I’m going to get a lawyer and see what I can do.” I stand, because as good as it feels to be in his arms, I am not in a place to be with someone again.

“We will help with getting a lawyer, if you want?” Michele’s eyes cut to Thoren quickly before facing me. “We can find you the best, and we will stay involved as much or as little as you want.”

“We have you, Lily,” Thoren adds. “Whatever you need, we are here for you.”

“I have some dinner for you, are you hungry?” I turn to Thoren, brushing away the last of the tears and changing the subject. I need to do something with my hands, or something to distract myself from the shame still washing through me. I appreciate their help, and I’ll take it. I just need a moment to take a breath, and let it sink in that I really am going to do this.

“She was going to leave some dinner in your fridge,” Michele cuts in before he can answer with a devious smirk on her face. “Isn’t that sweet?”

Thoren’s gaze locks on mine, a glimmer of something shining there, I’m just not sure what. “It’s very sweet, but my appetite is gone right now. I really appreciate it though, and would love to take it home for later if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” I manage, sitting back down on the other side of him again. “How’d the SAR case go? Was everyone okay?”

“Yeah,” he sits back against the couch, his arm stretching out behind me. “A hiker twisted her ankle pretty badly and couldn’twalk back. Unfortunately, she’s a trail runner and she was almost four miles in so it took us quite a while to find her and then get her carried back out. She’s okay though, and the team did great.”

“I’m glad she’s okay,” I watch Shadow meander over to Thoren and whine at his feet.

Thoren strokes my shoulder, “I better get her home. Thank you so much for taking care of her, Lily.”

“Let me get your food before you go.” The small couch empties as we all stand, vacating my sturdy deck.

“I better go too. Thank you for dinner, and we will talk more about what we can do to help this weekend, okay? I’ll walk him out,” Michele says, as they bring in the wine and platter from the porch, setting them on the counter. I inhale Michele’s floral scent when she wraps me in a hug. I pass Thoren his food, unsure of the appropriate action with him.

“Have a good night, Lily,” Thoren makes sure our fingers touch as he takes the food, sending goose bumps up my arm. Michele winks at me from behind him, heading to the front door.

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