MAX
Everything comes at me in flashes.
I feel like it had to be a dream—the worst nightmare I’ve ever experienced.
Carson showing up at my house in Seaside. Him attacking me and fighting back with all my strength. Screaming. The pain of his hand in my hair, pulling me by it across the floor. Being tossed into the backseat of a car. Then the sharp pain before everything went black.
What’s worse is I remember my eyes opening in a car, but I was unable to move my body. It all felt heavy, my arms and legs felt like they had concrete blocks attached. My head throbbed, but I looked outside and saw the familiar landscape on the way into my hometown in Texas.
I find myself willing the darkness to take me because the pounding in my head is already unbearable and I haven’t even opened my eyes yet. My mouth and throat are painfully dry and as I try to turn over, every muscle in my body screams at me.
I can tell before I even open my eyes that I’m not in my bed. The hint of the ocean smell that clings to everything is gone. The weight and heat from my three large men is gone. I know as soon as I open my eyes I’m going to break down at the surroundings I never thought I would have to see again.
I don’t want to face my stark reality. I don’t want it to be real. Squeezing my eyes even tighter, I try to convince myself that this will all go away and when I open my eyes again, I’ll be scooped up in Adam’s arms instead.
Yet, when I finally peel my eyelids apart, the blank walls cause the memories to slam into me. I want to cry, but somehow manage to keep the tears at bay. It's the room I spent eighteen years in at my parents' house. All white, with nothing personal hung up. The large bed is soft and sterile, just like the entire room. Honestly, the entire house is the same way.
I want to scream, and if my throat didn’t already feel like it was being ripped to shreds, I just might. Instead, I close my eyes again and wonder what I did to deserve this life. I was finally out, I was learning how to be independent. I washappy.And just like everything else before, it was ripped away from me.
There's a knock on the door and I ignore it. When I finally hear the knob turning, I force my eyes to open so I can see who's coming in. Not one inch of my body—or my spirit—is ready to fight anyone off, but I will if needed. Because I will get out of here,again.Even if it kills me this time.
I see that it’s one of my parent’s maids. She’s younger and doesn’t look at me, just drops some towels on the edge of the bed. But before she leaves the room her meek voice speaks, “Your presence is requested downstairs.”
Even though it feels like swallowing needles, I retort, “Tell them that they can drag me out of here like Carson dragged me from my home.”
I see her hesitation knowing she doesn’t want to pass the message along, and part of me feels bad for her. I’m sure she’s subjected to less than stellar treatment working here.
“I’m not going down there,” I say sternly. She nods before rushing out of the room.
I know it’s only a matter of time before someone else is sent up here. So I force myself to get up, my legs barely able to hold my weight. I don’t bother going to the door to lock it because it never had one.
Privacy in the Barclay household wasn’t allowed.
Unless you’re my dad while he fucked one of his many secretary’s, then I’m sure he had some privacy. Or maybe not, it’s not like my mom gave a fuck anyway.
The bathroom, however, does have a lock. I make my way in there, and close myself in, making sure to click the lock firmly in place. The back of my head hits the door lightly as I tip it back, closing my eyes as I try to keep my breathing even.
I won’t let this break me. I got out once, I can do it again. Deciding that it’s time to start figuring out how to do just that, I start the shower and spend the entire time being pelted by the hot water, while I start to form a plan.
Once the wateris cold and my skin is wrinkled, I force myself out of the shower and back into my old room. I only have a towel wrapped around myself, but the clothes I was wearing are dirty and sweaty.
The sight that greets me in my old room is worse than the one I woke up to. My mother, Claudia Barclay, sits on the edge of the bed, the pissed off look in her eyes I remember seeing my entire childhood present. Her gray hair is dyed blonde, her makeup done to perfection as always. She’s dressed like she’s planning to go somewhere when I doubt she is. But of course she has to be prepared just in case. Can never be caught looking anything less than perfect. Not as a Barclay.
“You look awful.” Those are her first words that she’s spoken to me in months. She hasn’t seen me since the day I ran out of my wedding, and those three words are the first things she says to me. Not that I’m even surprised. Her special talent of tearing me down is one she’s perfected over the years.
I just scoff, rolling my eyes, walking to the closet to find some clothes to pull on. Because I don’t care what she has to say to me now. I don’t care about anything other than getting back to Seaside and back to my new life. Including Caine, Drew, and Adam. I can only imagine how insane they’re going knowing I’m gone.
I’m not delusional enough to think they’ll be able to help me. I know I’m going to be on my own for yet another escape, but I’ll get back to them. I have to.
I pull out some of the T-shirts I tucked in the back of the closet, hidden away, and gently tug one on. Then I shimmy on some jeans and hear the noise of disapproval from my mother before I even see her.
“Nothing else fit, Maxine? I mean seriously, did you run off just to eat whatever you want and gain as much weight as possible?”
I grit my teeth and clench my fists. I gained muscle. What she’s seeing is the fact that my body has filled out and now has strength, but to her that’s considered a bad thing.
“Put something presentable on. Carson’s going to be here to get you after he’s done with work for the day.”
That gets me to respond to her. I whirl around, fuming. “I’m not going with him anywhere.”