Page 137 of Skylar

At that comment, he instantly sobered. He had mixed feelings about having a serious conversation with her, presumably about their future, because it could go either way. She hadn’t given him any indication over the past few days of what she was thinking.

“Yes. I can have a serious conversation with you while I drive,” Aiden said. “In fact, there’s nothing I want more.”

“Nothing?” she asked.

“Okay. I’d like for Shiloh to be completely healed,” he said. “But having a serious conversation with you is right after that for what I want.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

Bringing up Shiloh seemed to cast a shadow over everything. Aiden disliked that every time he thought of Shiloh, her cancer came up in his mind too. He wished he could associate her with only positive thoughts. However, sadly, he had no recollections of a time with her that didn't involve her illness.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Aiden asked.

“I had a conversation with Charli the other day that helped bring some clarity to things in my life and how I’ve dealt with stuff that’s happened.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Yes. Very good. I think it’s necessary for me to face those truths in order to move forward.”

Aiden pulled out to pass a slow-moving trailer, following not far behind Cole, who had also passed the vehicle.

Once they were back in the right-hand lane, free of the slower traffic, Skylar said, “I owe you an apology.”

Aiden glanced over at her. “Say what?”

“Ever since the day of our breakup, I’ve blamed you for the unhappiness in my life. I blamed you for the fact that I had to give Shiloh up to Charli and Blake.”

“That’s understandable,” Aiden said, not quite grasping what she was getting at.

“Going back to that summer before we broke up, I made the decision to sleep with you,” she said. “Because of that, I also have a responsibility for the pregnancy that resulted.”

What she said made sense, but he still felt that he bore more of the responsibility for what happened. He’d slept with her, knowing that he wasn’t as committed to their relationship as he’d been in the past. And definitely not as committed as she’d been.

“Then, I got pregnant with Shiloh and gave her up, feeling like I had to because you weren’t with me.”

“Raising her on your own would have been difficult,” Aiden said.

“But realistically, I wouldn’t have been on my own.” Skylar fell silent for a moment. “I would have had it better than a lot of other single mothers who manage to do it on their own. My family would have helped me, just like they helped Charli. I didn’thaveto give her up. But I told myself I did, and it was because you weren’t there.”

Aiden was not sure how to respond, but it seemed perhaps she didn’t need responses from him yet.

“Talking to Charli helped me to see that in all of this, I wasn’t taking responsibility for my own unhappiness and the decisionsI’d made. I was putting all of that on you. Blaming you for everything that happened back then.”

She hadn’t been the only one blaming him. He’d blamed himself.

“You aren’t to blame for everything,” she said. “You made some mistakes, and so did I. Though I’m coming to understand that giving up Shiloh wasn’t one of them. It was truly best for her to be with Charli and Blake.”

“I feel like my mistakes were worse than yours,” Aiden told her.

She reached out to put her hand on his arm, making Aiden wish he could concentrate on her rather than on the road. Maybe he wasn’t able to have this conversation while driving after all.

“We can both take responsibility for what happened back then, but I think it’s time that we both forgive each other and ourselves.”

“Yes. We should.” Aiden glanced over at her again. “But can you do that?”

“Right now, it almost feels easier to forgive you than to forgive myself.”

“Yeah. I agree.”

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