Page 126 of Zane

“That’s a good place to start,” Gareth agreed. “But have you thought about why you’re not willing to make that commitment yet?”

Though he definitely had strong feelings for Kelsey, he didn’t feel about her the way he remembered feeling about Sarah. That was the standard he was measuring his progress with Kelsey against. Was that wrong?

When he asked Gareth about it, his brother said, “Comparing two different relationships made up of two different people—because you are different now than when you dated Sarah—isn’t a good idea. The reality is that you’ll never love two people exactly the same way. If your feelings for Sarah have truly changed, then focus on loving Kelsey. Don’t try to recreate what you felt with Sarah with Kelsey. She deserves her own version of your love. One that’s just for her. No one else.”

Zane had never really thought of it that way.

“I mean, would you like it if Kelsey told you she loved you just like she loved her last boyfriend? The one that turned out to be a dud?”

“No. I would want my own relationship with Kelsey.”

“And she deserves her own with you.”

“I’m not really thinking that much about Sarah anymore,” he said.

“Maybe not, but your relationship with her is still popping up in how you deal with crucial moments with Kelsey. In the future, you need to take a step back when presented with situations that tempt you to compare things with your relationship with Sarah and really focus in on Kelsey.”

Though Zane hadn’t been super close to Gareth growing up, he appreciated his advice. He knew it was basically the same advice Lee would have given him if they’d had a conversation about what had happened. For some reason, he’d avoided having that conversation, and he wasn’t sure why.

“Now I just have to figure out how to make things right with Kelsey.”

“I have a feeling that a conversation—an honest conversation—would be a good place to start. Don’t take her gifts as a way to apologize but avoid talking. You can take her flowers or whatever, but only as a way to get the conversation started.”

“Thanks for the advice,” Zane said, with total sincerity. “I really do appreciate it.”

“I’m happy to share what I’ve learned.” Gareth smiled at him “And the most important things I’ve learned are to take concerns to God in prayer, approach Aria with love, and always have open and honest conversations.”

It was such basic advice for a married Christian, and yet, it seemed to be a struggle to put it into practice. At least for him.

As he sat there, he thought about each of his married siblings and their marriages. Zane knew that they’d all experienced some bumps in the road with their spouses, both before and after their marriages. And yet, they’d found the way to work through the issues that had arisen.

He was determined to do the same with Kelsey.

“I’d better go,” he said, getting to his feet. It felt weird to not have the support of the boot, and for a moment, he felt uneasy putting weight on his leg. What if it hadn’t healed the way it should have?

“You’ll be fine,” Gareth said, clearly reading his mind. He stood up and followed Zane out the door of the office, and together they walked to the back door.

“Thanks again.”

Gareth reached out and pulled Zane into a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you, little brother.” Moving back a bit, he gripped Zane’s shoulders, his brown eyes warm with affection. “I know you’re doing the right thing, and I can’t wait to see how God leads you and Kelsey.”

Zane felt emotion surge within him. He wasn’t a stranger to encouragement like Gareth had voiced, but in the midst of his current struggle, it felt like so much more than just simple encouragement.

“Love you,” Zane murmured past the tightness in his throat.

“I love you too.”

“Can a sister get in on this, too?” Janessa asked as she swept in and wrapped her arms around them both.

“Sure thing,” Gareth said with a laugh as he and Zane each wrapped an arm around her.

When Zane left a few minutes later, his heart felt lighter, and he knew it was now time to sort things out with Kelsey.

He wanted to say it was time totryto sort things out, but there was notryin this. Try meant there was an option for failure, and for the sake of his marriage, he couldn’t fail. He didn’t want to fail.

On the way home, he swung by the florist shop and bought a bouquet of beautiful autumnal flowers, then went by the coffee shop to pick up two coffees and some pastries. It wasn’t anything unique, but he knew that she liked all of it, and that was what he wanted.

When he got home, the house was quiet. He’d thought she would be up since she usually was when coming off her nighttime shifts for the week.

---