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Zane seemed to be trusting God with his situation, and from what Rori and Carisa had said, he was choosing to try to love her and work on their relationship because of God.

“I’ve had people ask me how I can be so trusting of God when He could have saved my family and yet didn’t. I think that’s a question a lot of people have when something bad happens.”

“And do you have an answer to that?” Jonathon asked.

“Well, my first response is that I don’t know the mind of God,” she said. “But I know that’s not the answer people want. All I can say is that I tried to cope with what had happened on my own, and I was contemplating suicide. When I turned to God and asked Him to help me, I was able to slowly, but surely, deal with the tremendous grief that dominated my life.”

“How did you and Brock meet?”

Kelsey listened as the couple shared the journey they’d each taken to find the other and the things they’d had to overcome in order to have a future together. Brock had faced struggles, and he’d had challenges of his own that might have kept them apart. The journeys they’d taken seemed impossible and even improbable to someone like Kelsey.

“As Christians, we will only live our most God-honoring lives if we seek His will for us,” Brock said. “Sometimes it can be hard to know what that will is. Sometimes the road seems rough and impassible, but God is faithful. Just like He helped Danae with her struggles, and me with mine, He will help those who seek Him and ask for His guidance.”

Kelsey thought about everything she’d been struggling with. The loss of the man she loved. The uncertainty about her future. Her marriage. Her career.

She hadn’t experienced what Danae and Brock had, but she was facing so much uncertainty that seeking God’s will for her life was appealing. But she wasn’t a Christian, and that seemed like something she had to change if she wanted God to direct her life.

Maybe Rori and Carisa would help her understand what that meant. The pastor had mentioned it a few times in the sermons she’d heard him preach, but she needed to know specifically what she had to do.

The podcast was ending as she pulled into the parking lot of the building where the test was taking place. She still had a few minutes before she had to go inside, so she stayed in the car, her thoughts full of everything she’d heard.

One upside to having been distracted by the podcast was she hadn’t had time to worry about the looming exam. Remembering her promise to Zane that she’d let him know when she arrived in Spokane, she plucked her phone from the cup holder.

Arrived safe and sound.

She stared out the window as other cars joined her in the parking lot. It was almost time to go in, and the nerves that had faded away on the trip were coming back to life.

When her phone let her know that a text had arrived, she saw that Zane had replied.

Zane:Wonderful! Hope everything goes smoothly there. Let me know when you’re on your way home.

Kelsey stared at the red heart he’d added at the end of the message. He seemed committed to their relationship, but if he didn’t really have feelings for her, how long would thatcommitment last? She was scared of what the answer to that would mean for her.

But for now, she needed to focus on this exam to secure at least one part of her future.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Zane stood in front of the large living room window, staring out at the street as he watched for Kelsey. She’d sent him a message an hour earlier to let him know she was leaving Spokane, so she should be home in the next ten or fifteen minutes.

His curiosity about her day was high, but he wasn’t going to press her for information. It was clear that she hadn’t felt comfortable sharing her plans. Whatever they were.

If he had his memory, he probably would have bugged her until she told him. Or maybe he would have already known, just because they were married and sharing their lives. Maybe she would have even wanted him to go with her.

However, even though technically he was her husband, he didn’t feel he had the right to question her further.

The house was quiet since Rori and Lee were both at work, meaning it was just him and Elsa hanging out together.

The day had dragged, which wasn’t really unusual. But that day, it had felt super long. And a little bit lonely without the knowledge that Kelsey was in the house. Even though there were days when she slept most of the day, just knowing she was there made the house feel less empty.

He needed to find things to occupy his time.

In one of his totes, he’d discovered his collection of cookbooks. They had been an eclectic assortment. But then, his interest in food was also eclectic. Where some people zeroed in on one type of cuisine, his interest had been more broad.

He had a cookbook featuring recipes from Thomas Keller’sFrench LaundryandPer Serestaurants, along withThe Silver Spoon, which was a cookbook jam packed with Italian recipes. There was also a copy ofThe Professional Chefby The Culinary Institute of America.

Early on in his career, he’d followed the recipes in those cookbooks to the letter. But recently—his recently—he’d taken what he’d learned while making those recipes and developed some of his own.

In the tote, he’d also found his leather-bound journals that contained all the recipes he’d tried, along with the notes he’d made about them. It had been interesting to read through the recipes he’d added during his amnesic gap. He’d definitely grown as a chef in that time.

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