Page 33 of Zane

Did they know about Zane’s memory loss? Did they know that he didn’t remember his wife?

Her thoughts continued to churn as the pastor spoke, so she heard very little of his sermon. When he asked the congregation to stand for the final song, she breathed a sigh of relief.

For the next several minutes, they made their way up the aisle and into the foyer. Unlike their arrival before the service, it was slow going because they were stopped repeatedly by people wanting to talk to Zane. They all greeted her with smiles, and Kelsey tried her best to return their friendliness, but it was a struggle.

Finally, they made it out of the church. She waited with Zane and Rori while Lee went to get the car. They’d all come together,though Kelsey had considered bringing her own vehicle so that she could escape if need be.

“Ready for some barbecue?” Rori asked as Lee turned out of the parking lot onto the street.

“Who’s cooking?” Zane asked in response.

Lee laughed. “Will that determine whether or not you're ready for barbecue?”

“Maybe?”

For the first time, Kelsey heard a lilt of humor in Zane’s voice, something she’d always loved.

“It’s a potluck barbecue. Misha said her mom made ribs for her and Jay to bring. We’re contributing chicken breasts, and Charli is bringing hotdogs for the kids. We’re also having potato salad, and some raw veggies and dip. Oh, and Charli said Layla and Amelia made some buns, along with cookies and brownies for dessert.”

“Sounds good,” Zane said. “I guess I’m looking forward to it now.”

Kelsey stared out the car window as they drove through the town, trying to psych herself up for the afternoon. The food all sounded wonderful. However, she didn’t have much of an appetite. Hadn’t had much of one since the accident.

When they reached the house, Zane sat down on a stool at the counter. While Rori and Lee sorted out the chicken for Lee to throw on the barbecue, Kelsey washed her hands and set to the task of putting cut-up veggies on a platter.

They hadn’t been home long when people began to arrive. Even though Rori had said that Dan and Cathy didn’t attend the Sunday afternoon barbecues very often, they showed up that day. Which didn’t surprise Kelsey at all. Zane had mentioned theday before how much his mom had wanted him to continue to stay with them.

People greeted Kelsey with smiles, but no one approached her to talk. Well, except for Rori. She also kept giving Kelsey things to do, which Kelsey appreciated more than words could say.

Soon, they were all gathered out in the backyard to eat. Mr. Halverson prayed for the meal, then pandemonium broke out as adults and children approached the food tables. Kelsey took advantage of the commotion to slip into the house and up to her room.

She switched out the clothes she’d worn to church for a pair of leggings and a T-shirt. Finding a pair of her runners in the closet, she slid her feet into them, then pulled her hair back into a ponytail.

Before leaving her room, Kelsey slipped her driver’s license and debit card into the pocket of her leggings. Then she grabbed her earbuds and phone and stepped out onto the landing of the second floor.

Pausing, she listened to see if she could hear anyone in the house. When there was no noise coming from the main floor, she made her way down the stairs with light steps, then hurried to the front door and carefully opened it.

Once on the porch, she pulled the door closed behind her and set off down the stairs to the sidewalk. After looking both ways, she headed off in the direction that appeared most residential.

For a moment, she thought that perhaps she should have let someone know that she was leaving. But honestly, she wasn’t sure they’d even notice she was gone in the chaos of so many people.

“You’re having a pity party, Kelsey Lynn Paine… Halverson,” she muttered to herself. “You’ve got to pull yourself out of this.”

It was true. She definitely was having a pity party of an epic magnitude.

But wasn’t she entitled to one?

After all, she’d lost her husband, her job, her new life… all in one fell swoop. She was running out of money and still hadn’t found a job. And then there was the anxiety over her unknown future and the panic attacks that threatened on a daily basis.

Kelsey felt a bit like she was living in hostile territory. Her one connection to this family had disappeared, and Zane didn’t even seem to care about her at all.

Hurt filled her heart at that thought. It had been hard to fully trust Zane back when they’d started dating, and it had taken time to get to that point with him. She hadn’t known why Zane would actually care enough about her to establish a friendship when her own parents had kicked her out of the house the minute she turned eighteen, leaving her all on her own.

But she’d eventually seen that his care for her was genuine and not something that would come and go, depending on his mood. Unfortunately, that care had disappeared along with his memory, and that was terribly hard to accept.

When she saw Zane, her heart swelled with her love for him. But she could see that he didn’t feel the same way. She was nothing to him. Nothing.

How long did she hold on, hoping that he’d remember? She’d married him with the intention of sticking with him through the good and bad, but she’d never ever considered that the bad would involve him forgetting her.

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