Page 138 of Wilder

“I’m not sure about Ciara, but I think it would be good for Peyton to go.”

“It would probably be an interesting experience for him.”

Wilder nodded. “Would you be interested in going?”

“Maybe? I’m not sure what I could do. It’s not like I can teach skating there. What else do I have to offer?”

“You have plenty to offer. They need people to help with practical stuff too. I’ve helped build things and paint walls. If you don’t mind getting a little dirty, there’s lots to do.”

Lexi hadn’t thought about the more practical side of operating a setup like the orphanage. “I’ve never done anything like that. But if someone will teach me, I’ll do my best.”

Wilder glanced over at her with a grin that brought butterflies to life in her stomach. “I’ll be happy to teach you.”

Lexi considered what it might be like to go to a place like Thailand with Wilder and to work alongside him for the good of the orphaned children who were rescued off the streets. As she’d taken on more children to coach, she’d discovered she actually enjoyed working with them.

Until she’d started coaching Amelia and Layla, she’d had very little contact with kids. Even when she’d been one herself, her dad had already decided that she needed to be homeschooled, so the only kid she was around at that age had been Mikhail.

“So you said that Miriam is a nurse?”

“Yes. She came back to the States after graduating high school in Thailand and got her nursing degree.”

“Has she lived at the orphanage her whole life?”

Wilder shook his head. “Her parents worked planting churches first, then about ten years ago, they started the orphanage.”

“Does she plan to stay in Thailand with them?”

“Yes. She feels that’s where God is leading her to minister.”

From how Wilder answered the questions, Lexi figured he must have spent a lot of time talking with her. Did Miriam have knowledge of Wilder that Lexi didn’t have yet?

“Did you two… date?”

The way Wilder hesitated made her stomach clench, and sudden nausea made her throat tighten.

“No. We didn’t,” he said after what felt like an eternity. “However, we did spend a lot of time together. We talked about trying a relationship, but there was just something missing for us. We decided that we were better off as friends.”

Lexi felt herself get bogged down in a maelstrom of emotion. On one hand, she was relieved that there had never been anything between them. However, it was hard to accept that he’d wanted a relationship with the pretty nurse.

What right did she have to be jealous when they hadn’t even dated? She had anengagementin her past, so she had no right to be jealous of afriendship.

The problem was that she wasn’t sure she was worthy of Wilder or the sacrifice he was making. And she didn’t know how to make herself worthy. Miriam had a career that ministered to people. Lexi’s greatest talent was no longer relevant in this new phase of her life.

Aside from playing Mrs. Claus to Wilder’s Mr. Claus, Wilder had no use for her ability to skate well enough to earn gold medals. It was hard and conflicting to feel like she’d had so much to offer in her previous life, and yet now she had so little to offer in this new chapter. A chapter that was becoming so important to her.

She wanted to give Wilder and their relationship so much, but what did she have beyond her love for him? A love she hadn’t shared with him yet, even though he’d told her he loved her already. He hadn’t said it again since then, though, so she was a little bit confused.

“You don’t have to worry about Miriam,” Wilder said. “There’s nothing between us.”

“Okay.” She tried to push as much nonchalance into the word as possible, needing it not to seem like such a big deal.

Thankfully, they pulled up to his parents’ house, so the conversation ended. Now she needed to pull out her professional persona in order to hide the awkwardness that came with being in an uncomfortable situation.

“Looks like Gareth and Aria are here too,” Wilder commented as he pointed to another vehicle parked there, along with a couple of others.

At that point, she was taking the viewpoint the more the merrier. More people meant less chance of the focus falling on her. Less need for her to participate in conversations.

After they got out of the car, Wilder took her hand as they walked up the steps to the front door. He opened it without knocking, and they stepped into a wide foyer.

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