Page 73 of Wilder

“Why?”

She wasn’t sure how to explain it to him when she wasn’t entirely sure she understood it herself. All she knew was that she wouldn’t want to stand in front of Wilder in any of her previous costumes.

“Because.”

“That’s not an answer, Alexandra.”

“I don’t have to give you a reason. It’s what I want.”

“Fine.”

“And before we make this official, I want us to skate together to see how much work we might need to perfect the program. If it’s too much, I won’t be able to do it.”

“You’ve never backed away from a challenge before,” Mik said.

“This isn’t about me backing away from a challenge. It’s about finding balance with the life I have now.” She took a deep breath. “You dropped me, Mikhail. I had to find a new direction in life. It’s not fair to expect me to drop it all for you now.”

“This will benefit you too,” he said defensively.

“Perhaps, but I’m also not willing to trash my life here for people who had no use for me when I was going through a really rough time.”

“You have to let that go.”

Did she?

He’d never apologized for what had happened. For what he’d done to her. Could she work with him without that?

She would only know once she was around him and the coaches again.

“Fine. But if I don’t feel comfortable with you, I won’t hesitate to shut it down.”

Though she wanted to tell him that he had more to lose than she did, at the heart of it, she wasn’t sure that was true. She wanted him to be professional, and she hoped that the threat of her pulling out would keep him in line. If he wanted it badly enough, he should be willing to agree with any of her demands.

After the call ended, Lexi stared blankly at her phone, fighting her first instinct, which, for some strange reason, was to call Wilder to see what he thought of Mik’s request.

She wouldn’t call her mom, because she already knew what she’d say. Even though her mom had known Mik since he was a boy, she’d never been his biggest fan. And after what happened between Lexi and Mik, she’d viewed him as their enemy. She wouldn’t want Lexi to even consider it.

Wilder, however… her mom would probably love him. She’d enjoy his personality, but it would be the way he embraced his faith that would make her happiest. Mik had never taken a real interest in church or Christianity. He’d tolerated it in Lexi’s life, probably because it hadn’t taken up that much of her time.

But Wilder? Lexi knew that he would help her embrace her faith more fully. She also thought he’d be able to give her some good advice. From the conversations they’d had, she knew that, while he might be laid back in his life, it didn’t mean he didn’t know how to consider things seriously.

What would he advise her about this situation? Would he encourage her to go for it? Or would he caution her about joining up with Mik and her old coaches again?

Maybe the bigger question was how she could trust a man she’d only known for weeks, more than one she’d known for years. Somehow, she knew that Wilder would never treat her the way Mik had. He’d already gone to bat for her, and in his own way, he’d been protective of her.

At one time in her life, she would have said she didn’t need that. But having experienced abandonment by the man who claimed to love her, she knew that she’d much rather have a man who was interested in shielding her from hurt, than one who willingly inflicted it on her.

Still, this had to be a decision she made on her own, since it was her life. Her career. Her future.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Lexi skated around the ice, stretching one way, then the other to get her body prepared for the skating that was to come.

Mik had texted her the previous night to let her know they’d arrived and were at their hotel. Perhaps she should have gone over to meet with them, but she was really determined to keep their interactions strictly at the rink and on the ice. No personal interactions, only professional ones.

Nerves fluttered in her stomach, but Lexi was confident she could keep them from showing. She’d learned how to do that early on in her competition career. In the past, she hadn’t tried to hide what she was feeling from Mik and her coaches, but everything had changed.

She had to hide what she was feeling because she wasn’t going to let these people hurt her again. They were together for one reason, and one reason only.

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