Page 132 of Wilder

Pushing open his car door, he stepped out into the cold, wintry morning. Plumes of frosty air appeared as he exhaled. Even with gloves on his hands were cold, so he shoved them into the pockets of his jacket.

It wasn’t the greatest weather for skiing. However, the die-hards would be out, regardless of how cold it was. They’d dress in layers and be ready to endure the cold for the sake of the thrill of a run down the slopes.

The more casual skier, though, would most likely hole up in front of a fireplace somewhere in the resort. Probably with a hot drink in hand.

Wilder hurried across the parking lot to the front door, eager to be out of the cold. Gripping the large door handle, he let himself into the rink.

He was immediately greeted by the sound of music drifting through the air. He didn’t recognize the singer, but then, he didn’t really listen to a lot of that style of music.

The song had a bluesy tone to it, and Wilder wondered if it meant something to Lexi.

He thought he’d see her skating, but there was no movement on the ice. It wasn’t until he neared the boards that he spotted her. She sat on the ice against one of the wooden posts that joined the boards together, legs straight in front of her, with skates on her feet.

Her head was tipped back as if she was staring at something on the ceiling, although there was nothing there. But then he realized that her eyes were closed.

For a moment, Wilder paused, taking in the sight of her. She looked beautiful, sitting there on the ice. The place that was her element. He hated to interrupt her, so he carefully braced his arms on the upper rail of the boards and waited.

He would have paid good money to know what was going through her mind. After their conversation the night before, he was encouraged. It was possible that Lexi felt the same way about a relationship that he did.

The very idea made him want to charge ahead, but Wilder didn’t move any closer to her. He was content to watch her from a distance for the moment.

He’d continued to pray about a relationship with Lexi and what his future might look like if she wanted that, too. Obviously, the biggest change had to be how much time he spent traveling in the summer.

It would be easiest to consider cutting the time he spent traveling to places like New Zealand or Iceland. Those trips added no significant value to his life beyond giving him enjoyment of the beauty of God’s creation. He was starting to revisit some of the places he’d already been to, so deciding not to do that sort of traveling anymore wouldn’t be a big loss.

Over the years he had made some interesting connections with fellow travelers in hostels, which he’d miss doing. But themost important part of his travels of late had been the time he spent at the orphanages, and that wouldn’t change. Even if he made other changes in his life, that could—and would—stay the same.

Once he’d decided that he could make the change necessary in his life to support a relationship, he’d actually gotten excited about the possibility.

He’d never been overly resistant to change in his life. He just needed a good reason for it. And he thought that making room in his life for a relationship was a very good reason.

Of course, it would all be for naught if he’d misread his interactions with Lexi. If Lexi wasn’t interested, the changes wouldn’t be necessary. At least not yet.

Another song started once that one ended, but it was in the same style. Lexi didn’t move, so Wilder went to the entrance of the ice and stepped out onto it. He felt more confidence moving on ice when he was wearing skates, but he managed to make it to where Lexi sat.

Turning, he lowered himself onto the ice next to her, propping his back against the boards.

As she turned her head towards him, she opened her eyes. When he smiled at her, she smiled in return, and he felt some of the worry he’d had for her ease.

“Hey,” he said, realizing that up this close, he could see there were dark grey flecks in her light blue eyes. They truly were beautiful, just like her.

“Hi. What are you doing here?”

“I was worried about you,” he said. “Wanted to make sure that you were doing okay.” He paused. “Are you?”

She turned her head, looking back at the ice as she shrugged. “I haven’t heard anything more about Mik. I’m scared to contact anyone to get information because I assume they’re all blaming me.”

As the cold seeped into his legs and butt, Wilder reached for her hand. She tightened her fingers around his and clung to him.

“It’s not your fault,” he assured her. “Mik is responsible for his own actions, and if people are blaming you for what’s happened to him, they’re wrong.”

“I just want to live my life free of this guilt everyone keeps trying to heap on me.”

Wilder rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. “I wish there was something I could do to help you with that. But in the end, you’re the only one who can let go of it. I can tell you that you shouldn’t feel guilty, but you need to work that through yourself.”

She didn’t say anything, but he felt her shift some of her weight to lean against his arm. It made Wilder want to gather her close.

“Do you think you played a role in what happened with your dad or Mik?”

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