Page 68 of Caged Bird

Hopefully after tonight, it wouldn’t be a problem at all.

“I need to tell you something,” I said softly. “Did you know this house was where Mom grew up?”

She blinked and shook her head. “Eddie never said anything about that.” She bit her lip. “Zane, your mom clearly isn’t well. Are you sure she’s remembering correctly?”

I nodded. “I didn’t remember until she started talking about the times we spent here. I was tiny, probably younger even than Otis, but I do have some memories. I don’t think she’s imagining it. Her long-term memory is a lot better than her short term.”

Fawn’s lips pressed together. “I envy her. I wish I could erase the last five years from my memory too. Though I feel like the worst mom for saying that because Otis is all mixed up in that time, but if I could forget it all, and just start fresh with him now, then I would. I’d give up all those memories of his first steps and first words, because your brother ruined all of them.”

There was an anger in her tonight. I didn’t know what had stirred it up, but it could have been any number of things. I stroked a thumb across her cheek. “You aren’t a bad mom. The fact Otis is still sweet and gentle is proof of just how good you are.”

She leaned into my touch and closed her eyes. “I just want this all to end. It’s worse now, since you arrived. Before, I was resigned to living this life. But now…I want more, Zane. I don’t want to be his prisoner.”

“I don’t either. He wants us to give up. You know that, right? That’s what all the punishments were for. We scared him the other day by fighting back.”

“I’m scared all the time,” she whispered.

I drew her in tight and cradled the back of her head to my chest. “I know. But that’s what he wants. To keep us in a state of fear so we don’t try anything again.”

“It’s working.”

I pulled back and stared down at her. “No. It’s not. We’re leaving.”

She sighed. “Zane, you think I haven’t tried? These people won’t help us. They’re all loyal to Eddie because he knows all their weak spots. Would you help a random stranger if it meant Eddie went after your wife or your kids or even your dog? I can’teven blame them, because I wouldn’t either. They’re as much his prisoners as we are.”

I already knew that too. The episode with the police had drummed that message home pretty hard. “We don’t need their help. Mom remembers a property about twelve miles away. The home of a girl she used to play with as a kid. If we can just get there…”

“What if they’re in his pocket too?”

“I can’t risk it, either way. But even though I might not be able to take a life, I’ve no qualms about stealing a car.”

Fawn shook her head. “Twelve miles though, Zane? It might as well be a hundred when we have your mom and Otis as well. They can’t walk that far. I don’t know that I can either. Plus, there’s wolves in those woods at night. I’ve heard them. And we don’t even know if that house is still there. Or if your mom is remembering correctly. We could just end up walking around in circles, completely lost.”

I gripped her arms harder. “Would that be worse than staying here? Staying with him?”

“I have a child to protect.”

“So do I.”

I blinked at the fierceness in my tone. At the protective growl that had come out of nowhere when I thought of that little boy who reminded me so much of myself.

Except he looked like Fawn.

And I was so stupidly in love with her that I automatically loved every extension of her without any effort.

She glanced up at me in confusion, and I was quick to add, “He’s my nephew. He’s not just your responsibility anymore.” My heart flushed with the overwhelming desire to protect them both.

To love them both.

To make them both mine.

The feeling was all-encompassing. And built on nothing real. All daydreams of the woman I thought she was. But I couldn’t tell my stupid heart that. It had loved her since the day I’d met her and never gotten over it.

“I just need another day,” I promised her. “One more day to fix the wagon so Otis and Mom don’t have to walk the whole way. And so we have something to carry supplies in.”

She touched her hand to her pocket, pulling out a bottle of pain pills. “I’ve got his medication. I could take some of these. Crush them into his drink. Make sure he’s out for long enough to give us a head start.”

The plan started coming together in my head. “He’ll look for us along the roads, so we’ll stay well away from them. We’ll follow the stream. Where there’s water, there’s people. These older properties were always built not far from a water source. Mom will know the way.”

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