Page 50 of Caged Bird

I’d kill him with my own fucking hands, even while blood drained from my body from the bullet wounds he’d no doubt fill me with.

I took the first two steps in a blind rage that couldn’t be contained. My pain mixing with my anger, all of it driving me forward.

The chain around my ankle jerked me backward.

I fell hard onto the stairs, barely catching myself with my hands to avoid smashing my face on the scuffed-up wood. I twisted to stare down at my leg.

I hadn’t even noticed the thick metal cuffs around my ankles. Hadn’t even heard the jangling of the chain.

All I’d been focused on was getting to her.

And now I couldn’t even do that.

Eddie’s bedroom door slammed open, and he yanked her by the hair to the upstairs banister. She gripped it with white-knuckled fear, her clothes half hanging off her in torn shreds, tears streaming down her face.

Eddie sneered down at me. “’Bout time you fucking woke up and learned that your actions have consequences, brother.” He spat the last word like it tasted bad. “You think I don’t have the police in my pocket? You think that wasn’t the very first thing I did when I moved here?” He glared at me. “You’re a fool, Zane. A stupid little boy who has always wanted to be the hero but never had the fucking balls to man up and do what needs to be done.”

I yanked at the chains, but there was no getting free. They were locked around my ankles until Eddie decided to release me.

All I had left was words. “She did nothing wrong. It was all me.”

Eddie ran his nose up the side of Fawn’s neck. “No, she’s forgotten her place. As usual. So now I have to remind her.” His eyes glinted with dark malice. “And you, lover boy, can fucking listen.”

He dragged her back to their bedroom, slamming the door again.

I squeezed my eyes shut, vomit choking me as their bedframe squeaked and Fawn screamed.

I stared at the ceiling, waiting for death to take me. Because that’s what it fucking felt like, lying there, chained up, unable to get to her.

And worse, knowing everything she was suffering was all because of me.

A door creaked across the hall, and my stomach sank when Otis’s little face peeped out through the gap, his eyes so like Fawn’s, staring at me and full of tears.

“You should hide, buddy,” I whispered to him. “Somewhere safe. Cover your ears and don’t come out until me or your mom comes for you. Okay?”

But Otis slipped from his bedroom and walked down the few steps to where I lay, hating myself with every ounce of my being for what I’d done.

And then he climbed onto my lap, curling himself up, knees to his chest, skinny arms wrapped tight around his legs.

Pain ravaged me from every direction. From my skin, to my head, to my goddamn fucking heart. But I pulled myself up and wrapped my arms around Fawn’s son, clutching him to my chest and covering his ears so he didn’t have to be punished for my mistake as well.

14

ZANE

Islept on the stairs that night, accepting the pain radiating through every inch of my body. It was nothing compared to what Fawn was feeling, so I didn’t try to move. Didn’t climb back down the stairs to the bottom floor, which would have been more comfortable. I didn’t deserve any of that, after what I’d done.

I should have known better. Fawn had learned that there was no outsmarting Eddie.

But I’d been cocky. Thought I was clever enough to fight back. Eddie had said I always tried to be the hero and failed miserably, and he was right.

Now Eddie was punishing me in the way he knew hurt me most.

By hurting someone I loved.

Nothing had changed in all the years I’d thought her dead, and I knew nothing would. I’d loved Fawn from the minute I’d met her, and I was going to love her until the day I died. There’d never been anyone else for me. It had always been her.

When I woke, Eddie was laid out on his recliner, Santos and Ward perched either side of him, all of them peering at a phone screen and Eddie laughing so hard he snorted.

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