Page 76 of Caged Bird

He went to touch me again, but I flinched away. I knew it was unfair and he was hurting too. Logically, I knew Eddie hadn’t done this alone. He had Spider and Santos and all the other guys to help him.

If Zane and I had been here, we were just as likely to be dead on the floor like Margaret, rather than the heroes of the story like my brain tried to make me believe.

“I don’t know what to do now,” I whispered.

The silence ate away at me until Zane filled it. His eyes blazed with a surety I hadn’t seen from him before. “We leave. Nothing has changed in that respect, except now instead of four…”

“It’s just two.”

He swallowed hard, folding his arms across his chest, like he needed it to hold himself together. Guilt seeped in over me batting away his touch when he looked like he needed the comfort just as much as I did.

In my heart, I knew Otis was still alive. That if Eddie had wanted him dead, he would be lying on the floor right beside his grandmother.

I still had that hope.

But Zane had just lost his mother, and there was no sugarcoating that. No way of making it better for him.

“If Eddie reports this to the cops…” My brain ticked over a million miles a minute, realizing the police could be here at any moment, ready to find a dead body, with the two of us standing over it.

Zane’s expression filled with pain. “We should leave. Now.”

Except Margaret was still there on the floor. And if Eddie didn’t report it, and he didn’t come back, she could be here for a very long time before anyone found her. Nobody ever came out here. There was no postman or delivery services or neighbors who would check in. There was nothing around for miles.

It was why Eddie had been able to hide me for as long as he had.

But just leaving her here to rot didn’t sit right with me. “We need to bury her before we leave. I can’t just walk away.”

Zane glanced at me, his expression full of pain. “Thank you.”

My heart broke, watching Zane carry her lifeless body out of the house and into the trees that surrounded the clearing. I got a shovel and a hoe from the shed, as well as a dirty old roll of black plastic.

Tears streamed down my face as Zane and I dug into the dirt. We worked silently, side by side for hours, even though we both knew if the cops arrived, we’d have a hell of a time trying to explain this to them.

But the more time passed, the more I realized that wouldn’t happen.

He didn’t want us in jail.

He wanted to torture us.

For me to look into the face of every child I passed on the street and pray one of them would be Otis. He wanted me to beg for him to come back. For me to fall on my knees and admit I couldn’t make it without him.

Awful voices in the back of my head said he was right.

That I was only here because he allowed it. That I’d only survived this long because of him.

Even after hours of digging, the hole didn’t seem deep enough, but Zane shook his head. “This has to be it. We’re wasting all our energy and we’re going to need it to walk out of here.”

I dropped my shovel to the ground and wiped the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand.

Zane lined the hole with the black plastic and then gently lifted his mother, placing her down on top of it. His jaw clenched into a hard line, and he brushed the hair back off her face. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered. “I hope you find the peace you could never get here.”

He stood to retrieve his shovel, digging it into the pile of dirt we’d made with a sharp stomp of his boot.

“Wait.” I jogged farther into the trees, plucking a couple of wildflowers from where they grew in patches of sunlight amongst the grass and leaf litter.

I hurried back to Margaret’s side and tucked the flowers into her hands, folding her bloodied fingers around them, hiding the damage to her skin with the pretty yellow weeds. I couldn’t stop the tears rolling down my cheeks. “Thank you. I know you fought for him. I’m so glad you got to meet him.” I covered her up with the plastic.

I stepped back, squeezing my eyes shut as Zane tossed the first load of dirt back into the grave. He shoveled angrily, each stab of the tool vicious until the job was complete.

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