Page 105 of Caged Bird

“Are sad. And I don’t even mean as in pathetic. I mean, as in literally sad.” All the humor had left Scythe’s tone. And suddenly he sounded almost…fatherly?

Having kids really had changed the man. Sort of. His naked tai chi comments still couldn’t be forgotten.

Ew.

Ophelia tapped me on the leg. “Look, I know we gave you a hard time, but I also know you aren’t your brother, and you never were. We don’t blame you for what happened.”

I sighed. “Thank you, but, and I mean this with no disrespect, it’s not you whose forgiveness I need.”

Scythe crossed his arms over his chest again and gazed down at me. “You’re not going to get it by working yourself to death and chatting up the ladies at the bingo club.”

I squinted. “What? I never went to bingo either.”

He winked. “Nah, that was me too. They love me there. And they don’t even mind when I cheat to win the gift cards.”

He walked backward to the door, saluting me as he went. “Come back to Saint View. I’ll bet Betty at bingo will let you cheat too. She’s got a thing for green eyes, so I’ve heard.”

Ophelia got up to follow him, her parting advice much more…sane. “I just want my sister to be happy, Zane. And I’m pretty sure that until you’re back in her life, she won’t be. Haven’t you both punished yourselves enough?”

She left without waiting for an answer.

But it was one I knew, deep within my gut, wrapped in layers of guilt.

I’d just been waiting for someone to set it free.

30

FAWN

Itried picking up Otis from Lyric’s house, since I wasn’t needed at the hospital as long as we’d thought, but he and Lyric’s son both complained so loudly that I was ruining their promised sleepover that I ended up leaving him there. Lyric had waved me off and told me she and Zeph, her husband, had the boys, and that I should go enjoy a night off.

I left quickly, as soon as I noticed there was a part of me that wanted to put my foot down and say no. Despite the fact I knew nobody would take better care of my son than Lyric.

I knew why I wanted to refuse. I could feel it the moment I got home to my house, and there was no little boy to fill the place up with noise.

The memories from the night I’d been taken had tried to crowd their way back inside my head, but I’d stopped them, using the techniques my therapist had taught me over months and months of sessions.

I’d forced myself to spend the night alone in my house.

And once I’d gotten past my initial hesitation, I’d actually found I enjoyed it.

I woke up the next morning with the smell of the chicken cacciatore I’d made the night before still lingering in the air, and my nails freshly painted, my hair newly dyed, chocolate wrappers spread out around me, and a smutty orc romance book by my new favorite author, Zoe Ashwood, face down on the bed beside me.

Sun streamed in the windows, lighting up the pretty yellow curtains so my room shone in golden hues. With no need to get up and do the school and work rush, I was very tempted to roll over and get lost in the orc warrior getting dirty with his beautiful female human. But the sunshine was too sweet to ignore, and there was something I’d been wanting to do, ever since I’d come back to Saint View.

I hadn’t, because Otis’s little legs weren’t yet built for long hikes, and for a long time, neither were mine. But I’d been working on smaller ones for months now, walking miles around my neighborhood while Otis wobblily rode his bike in front of me, a bright-yellow helmet on his head.

But it was my birthday, and I was free to spend it however I wanted. I knew in my heart, even though Eve was out of action, if I’d called up my sister or my brother, or pretty much any of my friends and the new family I’d found myself at the center of, they would have blown off work and come hiking with me.

But in my heart, there was really only one person I wanted to be with.

And I didn’t have his number.

I got out of bed and pulled on my workout clothes, lacing up my sneakers tightly and packing some water, a granola bar, and a couple of pieces of fruit into a small hiking backpack. I texted Eve to let her know where I was going to be, because hiking anywhere without telling someone of your plans, even if it was a well-worn, signposted path, was just silly.

The bus picked me up not far down my street and trundled its way up to the Saint View bluffs. As we neared the parking lot, the driver called back to me, “You want this entrance, Miss? This is the best one for hiking, but there’s another, closer to the waterfall if you prefer a shorter walk.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to take the easy way out. But I forced myself to my feet and asked the driver to drop me off now.

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