Page 67 of Exile

This morning, she didn’t look like she had heard us, which was a relief.

Caspian and I acted normal, not letting anything show.

He sat in front of me, focused on his coffee and the morning newspaper in front of him, while Mom moved around the kitchen with practiced ease. She loved to cook, and a smile touched my face when I remembered that Caspian did too.

I guess she got that from him.

No one spoke much, just quiet murmurs here and there, the occasional request to pass the butter. If she had heard anything last night, she gave no indication.

Then again, if I were in her shoes, I wouldn’t know how to act.

After breakfast, I got to work packing. I didn’t have many things I wanted to bring. Just some clothes for every season, some books, and toiletries. Caspian helped, carrying things out to the car while I sifted through what was left in my room. Mom wouldn’t move. At least that’s what she told me. She said I could leave everything here, and in case she did decide to move, she would let me know. After all, it was only a twelve-hour drive from Hilton Beach, and I could always come back to grab things in case I needed them.

Mom lingered in the doorway, watching without saying much. When I sealed the last box, I turned to face her, gripping the roll of tape in my hands.

“I guess that’s it,” I said with a tight smile.

She nodded, her lips pressing together. “And you’re really sure about this?”

I swallowed, unsure of what to say. “Yeah.”

A beat of silence passed between us before she stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. It wasn’t tight, but it wasn’t hesitant either. Just firm, steady, and full of things left unspoken.

“I’m not the reason why you’re leaving, am I?”

Her question caught me off guard. I frowned and shook my head. “Of course not. Why would you think that, Mom?”

We stepped away from each other, and she shrugged. “Because…I don’t think I’ve ever given you a reason to stay.”

Well, shit.

Now she was coming to me with words like that. Really?

Although my heart squeezed uncomfortably, I didn’t hesitate before answering. “Mom, that’s not true. You’ve always been a good mother.”

“But you never liked me as one.” I hated the way she was talking about herself. Hated that she thought she was never good enough, when throughout my childhood, she had always been a good Mom. Only when I got older and formed my own opinions, we grew apart. Slightly. She was still my mother, though.

“Don’t say that. You know it’s not true.” I sighed and rubbed her arms. “We just have our differences. Different opinions. Different characters. Would be boring if we were all the same, don’t you think?”

She gave a small shrug, then she smiled tightly. “Yes, I guess so.”

“I’ll come visit you. And maybe you can come visit us in Hilton Beach too. I bet Dale will like it there,” I mused.

“We might. I’ll talk to him about it.”

I nodded and gave her another hug before I carried the last box downstairs.

Once we got everything in the car, we turned back to Mom, and I gave her a small wave. “I’ll call you, okay?”

“Okay. Drive safe.”

Caspian nodded. “We will.”

At first I thought we were leaving without them hugging. That was the least they could’ve done. And to my surprise, it was Mom taking a step forward to give Caspian a hug.

They stood there for a moment, then she pulled away, her smile tight.

With that, we got into the car. As Caspian pulled out of the driveway, I glanced back one last time. Mom still stood there, her arms crossed over her chest, watching us go.

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