Page 63 of Exile

Caspian let out a breath through his nose, rubbing his palms together. “Julie,” he said, his voice low and filled with so many emotions. This was hard for him, too.

“I get it. I really do. I wasn’t always there, but I always made time for you and your sister. But you made that choice for me. And for Darwynn. You never gave me the chance to prove that I could be there for you even after her birth.”

And he would’ve been an amazing grandfather. I was sure of that.

Mom swallowed hard, and for the first time, she looked truly regretful. “At the time, I thought I was doing what was best for me and her. She wouldn’t have a father figure around, and I did a damn good job at raising her. So why would she need a grandfather who wasn’t around at all times?”

I furrowed my brows, letting out a shaky breath. “You let me grow up believing he didn’t care, Mom.”

Tears stung her eyes, and she turned her head to hide her face. “I know I hurt you. Both of you,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. You have every right to be angry.”

Caspian leaned forward slightly. “I didn’t come here to punish you, Julie. I came here because I needed you to say it. To acknowledge what happened. I lost years with both of you. Years I’ll never get back. I can’t change the past, but I want to move forward. I want to be in her life and in yours.”

Although she seemed to understand the pain she had inflicted, I could tell that she didn’t like the idea of having him in her life again. Her mistake had led her to change her mind about him completely. She didn’t want things to change, and in a way, I was okay with that.

Simply because Caspian was hiding one big secret from her.

It might’ve been twisted to demand an apology from her for lying to me all these years, but this was a secret I truly couldn’t tell her. She would freak out. She wouldn’t understand it.

“How would that work if you’re intending to take her back to Hilton Beach?”

She was upset.

I chewed the inside of my cheek and played with my fingers, wishing I could grab Caspian’s hands to calm down.

“We have phones. We’ll find ways to communicate and see each other,” Caspian suggested.

“And it was my decision to move to Hilton Beach,” I added, wanting to make that clear.

Mom looked between us, her expression unhappy. “What will you even do there? I googled that place. It’s so small.”

I hadn’t thought about all that yet. I knew I wanted to eventually find a job and make my own money, but for now, getting settled at Caspian’s place was my first priority.

“I’ll figure that out. But I really like it in Hilton Beach. It’s quiet, beautiful.” I watched her closely. She wasn’t happy, but she couldn’t change my mind. “I’ve made my choice, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Mom.”

I hoped that my words reached her deeply. I needed her to know how I felt. That I wouldn’t stop loving her, no matter how many times we didn’t see eye to eye. She was my mother, after all.

She pressed her lips together, then let out a shuddering breath. “Okay. If you’re really sure.”

The air in the room shifted, not entirely lighter, but no longer suffocating.

“I am,” I assured her with a tight smile.

She looked at Caspian then. “And it’s okay with you too?”

“Yes.” He had leaned back, looking way more relaxed now. “It’s okay with me too. I have to admit…I didn’t know what to do with her when she first showed up at my door, but Darwynn and I have more in common than I ever imagined. She’s a good…roommate.”

I pursed my lips at the choice of words to describe our living situation.

“Well then.” She let out another heavy breath. “I take it you want to pack now.”

I smiled at her. “I was hoping we could spend the afternoon together and then have dinner at your favorite restaurant.”

“I can leave you two alone for the day if you’d feel more comfortable, Julie. I booked a hotel room to stay at.”

Mom looked at Caspian, surprise written all over her face. She thought about it for a while, then shook her head. “Don’t be silly.”

That was an invitation to tag along and possibly one to stay at the house tonight.

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