Page 26 of Exile

He shook his head, setting his fork down. “Not in a long time.”

“Do you like it? Here with me, I mean.”

He glanced at me, his dark eyes unreadable. “It’s fine.”

I chuckled softly, taking another bite of cheesecake. “You know, for someone who spent years in the spotlight, you really don’t seem to like people much.”

His gaze dropped to the table again. “People are complicated.”

I leaned forward slightly, resting my elbows on the table. “Is that why you like being out here? Alone?”

He didn’t answer right away, his jaw tightening slightly. “Part of it,” he said finally. “After what happened, I needed space. Quiet. People took up too much of both in Hollywood.”

I nodded, letting his words sink in. “I get that. But don’t you ever feel…lonely?”

He met my gaze, his expression hardening. “Lonely is better than dealing with people who only want something from you. Or want to tell you how you should see the world when in reality, they have no fucking idea of what’s right or wrong. They only see what they want to see. In that world, you learn fast that most of it isn’t real. The smiles, the friendships…even the respect. It’s all for fucking show.”

That was the most words he had ever said to me.

I let them sink in. “And out here? What’s real out here?”

For a moment, I thought he would get up and end this conversation. But his gaze flicked to the window, then back to me. “The quiet. The space to breathe. The fact that everyone here seems to not care who I am.”

I studied him, his face's lines, and his eyes' weariness. “After what happened…” I needed to be careful with my next words. “On that set, you practically put yourself in exile. Left Hollywood.”

He raised a brow at me. “Exile?” He laughed, but there was no humor in his voice. He didn’t like that I called it that, but he wasn’t denying it either. A heavy sigh left him. “Yeah, maybe. But that’s what you did, too, in a way.”

“How so?”

“Because you went on a months-long road trip after needing space from your mother. I guess we had the same reasons. Needing space. Needing to be alone because the people around us were not giving us what we needed.”

“Or deserved,” I added, my eyes lingering on his. I reached across the table to place my hand on his, and to my surprise, he didn’t pull away. “You don’t have to talk about it, but I just wanted you to know I believe your side of the story.”

He gave a simple nod. “Thanks. But it doesn’t matter who believes me. I know my truth. I know now that it should never bother me to care what others think. I was angry. I hated that my friend’s death was simply accepted and turned into a damn story for them to publish and earn money off. Everybody moved on, and I—”

The sudden emotions in his voice made my heart ache. I gripped his hand and slid my fingers over his large palm. His gaze dropped to our hands, and he kept his hand there, letting me touch him and comfort him.

“I can’t imagine how it must’ve felt not getting the support from the people you trusted most. I’m sorry, Caspian.” I squeezed his hand and felt his fingertips twitch, almost like he wanted to caress my hand back but couldn’t.

“It’s fine now. I won’t see those people again and don’t want to give them any of my time.”

I nodded, smiling softly. “I understand.”

I eyed him for another while, then retreated my hand when he cleared his throat and stood up. Silence came over us again.

We both needed it to reflect on what had been said earlier, and I specifically needed that silence to understand what that intense feeling I felt holding his hand was.

I couldn’t read too much into it, but it was hard because it felt good.

Too good.

Chapter 7

CASPIAN

She convinced me to go on a damn walk by the lake.

No woman had ever convinced me to do anything, but it seemed that the more she was around, the harder it was to say no to her.