Page 36 of Cold Case Murder Mystery

That, heknewhe’d never said. He’d never used the wordlove.Ever. “No, I said I didn’t see a future. Because I didn’t. A future meant having... hope. It meant caring more about survival than anything else. And you said it yourself back then. I had a death wish. Danger didn’t faze me because if I didn’t make it out, oh well.”

She turned to face him and there was no shock on her face. Those were words she’d saidtohim all those years ago. She’d known, even then, he hadn’t valued his life that much. But he wasn’t sure he’d ever shared all thewhybehind it with her.

So when she didn’t speak, that’s what he did. Like this was some kind of confession and the dark feelings he kept locked down had to come out for him to be saved. Absolved.

“I used to think that if I died doing something honorable, my siblings would be proud,” he said while she looked at him with heartbreak in her eyes. “It took... maturity, I guess, to realize they’d just blame themselves.” He wasn’t even sure when that realization had happened. Maybe when he’d been shot in the showdown that had taken down their mother’s murderer. The way Carlyle had lost it. The way Walker had babied him afterward.

The way the Hudsons had somehow absorbed them into their world just because Mary had fallen in love with Walker. Or maybe, more importantly, because Walker had fallen head over drooling heels for Mary.

“Well, I’m glad you realized that,” she said, her voice sounding strangled.

“Me too.” He wasn’t sure he had been, until this moment. Glad maybe not for himself, but for the people he cared about.

She nodded carefully, like she was afraid she might shatter if she moved too quickly. “Good night, Zeke.”

“Night.” And only after she left, the dog padding behind her, did he realize he’d been hoping for a different outcome. Because he could tell himself the old reasons for not wanting her in his life...

But they just weren’t true anymore.

Brooke opened her eyes to sunlight streaming in through the window. It was later than she should have let herself sleep, but her head had hit the pillow last night and she’d beenout.

No energy to work through everything Zeke had told her. The way he’d looked at her. But it was the first thing on her mind this morning, even groggy and still tired.

You really don’t think I was in love with you?

He’d sounded so shocked, and worse, hurt. And maybe he was right. Maybe he’d never told her he hadn’t loved her, but he’d never told her hehad. Then he’d broken it off with her because there’d been no future. Was she really supposed to believe that had been love on his part?

She’d found an entire skull yesterday with no other bones in the immediate vicinity. She needed to get to the police station and process it and send it down to Cheyenne. She needed to check on her lab results for the last set of bones and write up a report for Thomas so he could take the multiple murderer theory to the rest of his investigative team.

She could not lie in this comfortable bed and think about Zeke loving her. Or that kiss yesterday morning that already felt like a month ago.

But for just afewmore minutes, she let last night’s conversation replay in her head. She’d had her own terrible childhood with parents who hadn’t cared, and the hell of being separated from Royal and bouncing around foster houses as a teen, but Zeke’s story of his mother’s murder had always struck her as more sad.

He’d loved his mother and lost her in tragedy. No hope there. She’d only ever loved Royal, and she hadn’t really lost him. Maybe their separation had been hard, but she’d always had hope for a future where they were together again.

In fact, at the moment, her brother was another item on her to-do list, because she had to tell him that their father was still in jail, so whatever he thought was happening... wasn’t.

Probably.

She shook it away. One step at a time, and work had to come first right now. So she took a shower, got dressed for the day, and typed a to-do list into her phone to help her feel somehow in charge of the overwhelming amount of tasks she had to accomplish.

When she went downstairs, Viola greeted her with a wagging tail and happy yips at the bottom of the stairs. Brooke smelled coffee and bacon. For a moment, she stood and felt a pang.

One she didn’t have time to dissect.

When she stepped into the kitchen, Zeke was putting two plates piled high with eggs, bacon and biscuits on the table.

“You don’t have to keep cooking for me, Zeke,” she said because it settled in her chest like a heavy weight. Why was he doing things for her all the time? “I am capable of feeding myself.”

“Sure,” he replied easily. “But isn’t it nice to have someone else handle it? You’re busy, Brooke. I’m not. I can handle a few chores. Besides, last night wasn’t much. I’m not much of a dinner cook, but I can put together a mean breakfast.” He gestured to the table. “Sit. Eat.”

She looked at the table, hesitating. Because she was afraid she’d... get used to this. Someone taking care of her. Because she’d never once had that.

Except when she was with him.

But she wasn’twithhim. He was just acting as... bodyguard. Maybe there’d been some personal conversations. A kiss. That was just... sorting out a past. When she walked off this ranch, it wouldn’t be like him breaking up with her all over again.

She couldn’t let it be.

---