Page 85 of Elven Crown

So, at the very least, shewasn’tlosing her mind.

She opened her mouth and inhaled, standing at the edge of finally asking him about it so it wouldn’t later evolve into something else driving a wedge between them. She didn’t get the chance to even bring it up.

“Enjoy your drink, Commander,” Maxwell told her, holding her in the luminous clutches of his silver eyes. “Excuse me.”

He released the cup—and her fingers—and left her there by the wall, heading off to engage in other conversations with other Shade members who’d been waiting to catch his attention.

Rebecca stared after him, at a loss as to an appropriate reaction. He had done nothing wrong, technically. He’d simply refused to acknowledge what happened when their fingers touched around her cup, or to allow her the chance to broach the subject with him.

Maybe it was for the best. They were in the common room, surrounded by Shade members getting their drink on to celebrate the task force’s most recent victory. The first one in a long time. It was better to leave a discussion like that for another private moment, whenever that would be.

Private moments for anything or anyone were growing a lot harder to come by.

She tried to let it go and think of something else, though after he’d left her so abruptly, she couldn’t help but search for him again and again as the minutes passed.

Maxwell mingled with the other operatives, occasionally sharing his own version of a story or remarking on someone else’s. For the most part, though, he made his rounds with his usual silent watchfulness.

Rebecca did notice that he stayed relatively close to her within the common room. Even when he looked engaged in someone else’s conversation, he never strayed far enough that she couldn’t turn and instantly find him close by.

That only made the sudden change in his demeanor that much more striking. Normally, if Rebecca searched for him in a crowd, he was already staring at her by the time she found him. Tonight, she didn’t catch him looking at her once.

She’d expected that to come as a relief, but instead, Rebecca only found herself disappointed and unable to change the way she felt about it. After everything they’d been through, he was ignoring her on purpose now, was he?

It was impossible to tell what Maxwell Hannigan wanted. That was more frustrating even than when he’d been spying on her and trying to keep her from leaving the compound. Back then, Rebecca had known what his intentions were, even while attempting to thwart them.

But now?

Now, she had no idea what her Head of Security was thinking, and she didn’t like the feeling of it one bit.

So she tried to focus instead on the party, but this unknown thing growing and changing between her and Maxwell made that impossible.

So did the knowledge that Rowan was still here, as a member of Shade and as a part of everything in which Rebecca now involved herself. His presence disturbed her, most of all, because Rebecca couldn’t predict when the elf was going to make his move and reveal all the secrets she’d worked so hard to bury while she lived out this new life of hers right here.

Throughout the night, she searched for Rowan too, covertly watching his interactions. He laughed and joked with the others, speaking animatedly as he shared stories and making himself the first to laugh at someone else’s. On the surface, he looked like the charming, personable elf everyone thought him to be. Because why would he have been anything else?

Rebecca knew how charming Rowan could be, as long as no one expected him to take anything too seriously. That was the problem.

No matter how long she watched him or how hard she tried to let it go, she still couldn’t make up her mind about the Blackmoon Elf. On one hand, she was indescribably grateful to see him again, to have a familiar face from her old life right beside her, within arm’s reach, accessible whenever she might need to rely on such a friendly face.

It was so good to see him again. Rebecca hadn’t let herself think about how much she’d missed their friendship over so many decades.

Tonight, though, his presence reminded her why she’d chosen not to think about him at all.

It just hurt too much. That hurt—the pain of seeing Rowan Blackmoon again after all these years, after Rebecca had spent so much time forcing herself to get over the losses inherent in leaving Xahar´áhsh for Earth, to make any number of new lives for herself—reminded her of just how dangerous it was to keep him around at all.

She’d left him behind with everything else. For a very good reason. Now, that reason was staring her in the face once again. He’d weaseled his way back into her life, into her existence with Shade, and she couldn’t stand the fact that he’d found her. Not after all the precautions she'd taken against such a thing.

Because ifRowanhad been able to find her, who else might be on her trail even now, so close to discovering RebeccaBloodshadow’s whereabouts? How many of her old enemies were sneaking up behind her, sniffing her out in Chicago while Shade partied the night away for finallynothaving failed?

Beyond thinking of potential enemies, though, Rebecca hated how much Rowan’s presence made her unwillingly think of her own family and the Bloodshadow Court. Did they know where she was? Did they know he’d found her? How much information had Rowan already fed back to them? Would more members of the Bloodshadow Court come for her next?

Would they unknowingly lead her enemies even closer?

The more she tried to ignore this line of thinking to enjoy the party, the more questions popped up in her mind, refusing to let her think of anything else. Very quickly, the whole thing became far too overwhelming, her attempts to smile and act natural far too exhausting and pointless.

She had to get out of here before she snapped for reasons she couldn’t explain. Before the entire task force started asking the kinds of questions she couldn’t answer as a necessity of self-preservation.

The more she watched Rowan, the more she needed to know exactly how he’d found her. And how he could play so nice with everyone else in this room when he hadn’t shown up at Shade headquarters with the intention of officially signing on.

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