Janelle peeks through her fingers, her voice muffles as she groans, "Can we not turn my personal life into an action movie plot?"
"But it is like an action movie!" Dillon insists, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "Wolf’s a bounty hunter, right? That’s, like, one step away from being a superhero!"
"Pretty sure superheroes don’t get paid to bring in people who skipped bail," I mutter, shooting Janelle a look of pure amusement. Her cheeks were still bright red, and she looks like she’s debating whether to laugh or crawl under the car.
"Okay, okay," Janelle said finally, surrendering her hands. "Enough about me and Wolf. We’ve got groceries to put away, remember?"
"But you didn’t answer my question!" Chloe pipes up again, her voice almost singsong in its persistence. "Is Wolf your girlfriend?"
Janelle turns to her daughter with a look that screamed "help me," but I decide to jump in before she could say anything.
"Chloe," I say gently, crouching down so we are eye level again, "sometimes adults need a little bit of time to figure things out. Your mom and I are still working on what this is, okay?" I shoot her a soft smile, hoping she’ll accept my answer and let Janelle off the hook for now.
Chloe tilts her head, clearly pondering my words like a pint-sized philosopher. Finally, she nods solemnly. "Okay. But if you’re her girlfriend, you have to promise not to make her cry like Daddy did."
The words hit me like a punch to the gut. Janelle freezes beside me, her eyes wide and glassy. For a second, no one said anything—just the sound of a car passing by in the distance and the faint chirping of birds in the trees.
"I…" I swallow hard, glancing up at Janelle. Her lips pressed into a thin line, her hand resting protectively on Chloe’s shoulder. I turn back to Chloe, steeling myself. "I promise, Chloe. I promise I would never do anything to hurt your mom. Ever," I say, my voice is steady despite the lump forming in my throat.
Chloe studies me for a moment, her little face serious and way too wise for a five-year-old. Then she gives a big toothy smile and nodding, as if granting me her approval. "Okay. You can be her girlfriend then."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Abel interrupts, raising his hands like a referee calling a foul. "You don't get to decide that, Chloe! That's not how it works!"
"Yeah," Dillon agrees, though he seems less certain. "Don’t they have to like… go on dates first or something?"
Janelle groans again and leans against the car, muttering something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like "kill me now." I can't help but laugh at the absolute chaos unfolding around us.
"All right, all right, time out," I say, holding up my hands like I was trying to calm a group of unruly bikers at the clubhouse. "First of all, I think we’re jumping the gun here. Second, your mom and I are grown-ups, meaning we get to figure this out on our own time."
"But you ‘like’ her, right?" Chloe asks, undeterred, her eyes wide with curiosity.
"Chloe!" Janelle’s voice is sharp but tinged with embarrassment as she shifted uncomfortably.
I glance at Janelle, who looked like she was about two seconds away from sprinting to the nearest hiding spot. Deciding to throw her a lifeline, I lean closer to Chloe and whispered loud enough for everyone to hear, "Your mom makes the best pancakes I've ever had. Of course, I like her."
Dillon snorts a laugh while Abel looks unsure if he should be grossed out or impressed. Chloe, however, beams like I’d just told her she was getting a pony.
"Pancakes are important," she declares with all the authority of a five-year-old who knew her priorities. "That means you like like her."
"Chloe," Janelle groans again, her face buried in her hands. "You’re not helping."
"But it’s true!" Chloe insists before spinning on her heel to face her brothers. "Abel, Dillon, it’s official! Wolf is Mom’s girlfriend because she likes her pancakes!"
Abel crosses his arms, clearly skeptical. "That’s the dumbest reason ever. Liking pancakes doesn’t mean you’re dating someone."
"Yeah," Dillon agrees, nodding seriously. "They probably have to kiss again or something for it to count."
Chloe tilts her head, considering my words with all the seriousness a five-year-old can muster. "So... you're family?"
I glance at Janelle again, who was watching me with equal parts warm and cautious expression. Janelle’s arms cross over her chest, but she wasn’t looking away this time. She was waiting for my answer too.
"Yeah," I say softly, gently tapping Chloe’s nose. "I think I am."
Chloe squeals in delight as she kicked her legs in her seat.
I can't help but notice how effortlessly kids seem to accept things, while adults are always more difficult to handle. I glance at Janelle and then at the children, and I can't help but wonder what I did to deserve such peace and joy.
The moment of serenity is short-lived, of course. Abel decided to remind us all why preteens are top-tier chaos agents.