Page 14 of Wolf's Whisper

"Yeah," I lie, pouring myself a cup of coffee and leaning against the counter. “Just didn't sleep well. Nothing a good ride can't fix," I add, trying to sound more like myself.

Razor grunts through the phone skeptically, but he doesn't push it. "All right, just remember, we've got your back if you need us."

I nod, even though he can't see me. "Thanks, man," I say before hanging up. The warmth of the brotherhood always eases a bit of the weight on my shoulders, but this morning, it's Janelle who occupies my thoughts.

Dragging my fingers through my hair, I decide a ride is exactly what I need. The cool wind against my face always helps clear my head. Maybe it’ll help me sort out these tangled feelings about Janelle.

Throwing on my jacket, I grab the keys to my bike and head out. The engine's roar fills the air as I take to the streets, the early morning light casting long shadows on the asphalt. The city is just waking up, and the peacefulness starkly contrasts the turmoil inside me.

The cool breeze slaps against my skin as I ride, sharp and invigorating. It's like each gust is trying to blow away the confusion and clear a path through the fog of emotions that cloud my judgment. I need this ride, need this momentary escape to figure things out.

The streets blur past, each turn and stoplight a reminder of the rhythms of a life I know all too well. But today, they feel different, charged with the weight of what's been left unsaid between Janelle and me. The usual thrill of the ride is tempered by a restlessness that grips my chest—a knot of worry and wonder about where we stand.

I pull over at a familiar overlook, where the city stretches out below like a sprawling tapestry. It’s quiet here, the rumble of the city muted by distance. I kill the engine and sit there, allowing the silence to wash over me.

As I look over the city, my thoughts drift back to Janelle. Her smile, her resilience in the face of everything she's been through, her eyes light up when she talks about her kids... it all comes crashing into me like a wave. This isn’t just about protecting her anymore; it’s something deeper, something more personal, that threatens the barriers I've built around my heart. I know the rules—don't get too close, don't make it personal—but with Janelle, every rule seems to bend, twist, and ultimately break.

I fish out my phone from my jacket pocket, thinking I should just call her and hear her voice. But then I hesitate. What would I even say? 'Hey, I'm sitting here thinking about you and how you're changing my life'? That is a conversation for another time when I'm less confused and less overwhelmed by my feelings.

Instead, I tuck the phone away and sit there longer, watching the sun climb higher in the sky. It casts golden hues over the city, painting everything in shades of promise and new beginnings. It's beautiful but daunting. Change always is.

Finally, with a deep breath, I start up the bike again and head back toward town. As much as I want to escape, running isn't the answer. It's time to face this with Janelle head-on, whatever that might mean for us.

As I ride back, the streets start filling up more—the buzz of the city coming to life, acting as a backdrop to the whirl of my thoughts. I decide to swing by the clubhouse first; sometimes, a bit of noise and laughter from my club brothers is just what I need to get my head straight.

Pulling up, I see some guys outside, working on their bikes. Smoke, always with a wrench, nods as I kill the engine.

"Morning, Wolf," he calls out, his voice echoing slightly in the cool air.

"Morning, Smoke," I reply, dismounting and walking over. The familiar smell of oil and metal fills the air, grounding me a bit. "What's up?"

"Just tweaking the old beast," Smoke says, gesturing to his motorcycle. "She's been acting up lately. Needs a bit of tender loving care."

I chuckle, leaning against my bike. "Don't we all?"

He looks at me for a moment, his eyes sharp. "Something on your mind, Wolf? You seem off today."

I hesitate, not sure how much I want to divulge. The guys are like family, but this feels different—more personal. "Just thinking about some stuff," I manage to say.

Smoke nods, understanding not to pry further. "Well, if you wanna talk or throw back a beer later, let me know," he offers with a supportive slap on my shoulder.

I nod appreciatively. "Will do."

The morning at the clubhouse is always a mix of repair noises, laughter, and the occasional shout over the rumble of engines. It's comforting—it reminds me of simpler times before life got tangled up with emotions too big to fit in the garage.

"I might just take you up on that beer," I tell Smoke, forcing a grin.

He chuckles, wiping his hands on a rag. "You know where to find me."

As I walk into the clubhouse, the noise picks up—a blend of rock music and rough voices. The place smells like leather and stale beer, a scent I've come to associate with refuge. The guys are gathered around, some throwing darts, others deep in conversation. I grab a coffee from the pot that’s always brewing and settle into the familiar environment.

But even amid the chaos, my thoughts drift back to Janelle. It's like she's become this constant presence in my mind, her image superimposed on every surface, her voice a soft echo in the back of my head. It's disconcerting and yet oddly comforting. I wonder what she's doing right now—probably getting the kids ready for their homeschooling, making breakfast, trying to make life as if everything is normal. But for me, nothing feels normal anymore.

I sip my coffee slowly, letting the bitter warmth slide down my throat, grounding me back to the present. Be it the caffeine or the familiar surroundings, my thoughts align with a clearer perspective. I know I can't keep circling my feelings for Janelle. It's time to face, understand, and embrace them.

"Hey, Wolf! You gonna join in or just brood over that coffee all day?" Tank shouts over from the pool table, cue stick in hand and a challenging grin on his face.

I shake off my reverie with a smirk. "You sure you want to lose this early in the morning?"

---