Page 62 of Fall Into Me

“Scout’s honor.” She held up two fingers in a salute.

I nodded at her and started to turn, but she spoke again. “And thank you. For helping Gus.”

“No problem.” I gave her another nod and one more to Mags before I walked out, finding Gus waiting on the sidewalk, half the bag of cookies already gone, and the feel of Cali’s eyes on my back the entire time I walked away.

20

Calista

After

I had run like it was my religion every single day except Sundays from the moment I moved back to this town, and today marked the eleventh day of me breaking that streak.

It had been the perfect way to balance out what I was sure was the worst diet known to humankind. I was incredible at putting together Kraft Mac and Cheese and ensuring my ramen noodles were cooked perfectly. It took a long time to convince myself that it was better than getting takeout all the time, but if I were honest, I’d probably get takeout if I could afford it.

I could not afford it.

It wasn’t like I was rationing toilet paper, but there was no extra money laying around.

After about a week of Fane living in my house, he’d clearly gotten fed up with the less than impressive stocking standard of my fridge and had taken over the cooking and grocery shoppinglike it was his personal mission. I hadn’t lifted a finger, let alone exercised, but I was eating better than I had in years.

I figured it was also the least he could do, considering the whole arriving-unannounced-and-being-a-pain-in-my-ass thing.

When my mom got sick, Imayhave told a little white lie that I’d gotten a post-degree scholarship that cleared my student debt. While I’d made it up when I told my dad, I did learn that they were things that actually existed. They just didn’t exist for me.

Whatdidexist for me, was a fairly hefty personal debt that I’d taken out to pay back my parents every cent they’d poured into my unfinished business degree. I’d been funneling as much money as possible into paying that back.

My parents had spent their whole lives saving up for my education with no thought for themselves. It was a no-brainer that the money needed to go toward my mom’s treatment, and between that and the money they had from Abbey not going to college, they’d assured me that they had everything handled.

I wasn’t sure I believed them, and I wasn’t sure they totally believed me, but there was an unspoken agreement not to push one another on it.

I still put whatever I could spare into their bank account every month through a direct deposit. It wasn’t enough for them to really even notice, but it was better than feeling like I was doing nothing.

Between all of that constantly swirling around in my brain, there was also the fact that my word of the day over the last four days hadn’t been something I could use in a sentence. Two of those words I had to Google, and all in all, the experience felt like it was kicking me while I was already down.

I was on the cusp of being broke and was reminded daily about my limited vocabulary by an app that I still couldn’t afford, but continued to voluntarily pay for.

It painted a really sad picture, if I was being honest.

I’d started to close down the cafe and Fane was still nowhere to be found. He’d left this morning with Gus, and apart from a message to say he’d be there the rest of the day, I’d been on my own.

I was used to being on my own. Sure it’d been weird at first, going from a lifetime of having people around me–a group of other humans you could rely on for anything, no matter the place or time–to being completely and totally on your own.

I mean, except for Jerry.

Hence, it shouldn’t have felt likethis, like it was something I wasn’t used to. The day moved on like it always had, if not a bit busier with the added clientele. I still saw my dad. Still made him his coffee, handed him his cookies, and promised I wouldn’t be late to dinner.

The only thing that was different was the fact that I was exceptionally aware of Fane’s absence, and that was just so fucking stupid of me.

The moment my feet hit the pavement, it was bliss. When I could get Jerry off his couch, I brought him with me, and today just happened to be one of those exception-to-the-rule sort of days. Honestly, I was like eighty percent sure that the only reason he was so eager was because he thought Fane was outside.

I didn’t try to run for any specific duration of time. There was no real distance I wanted to eat up. I just let myself run. Let my mind be empty for a while.

My arm nearly dislocated when Jerry skidded to a halt, barking with a ferocity I rarely heard. Not his usual,Don’t make me touch wet grass,grumble, but the deep, guttural growl thatscreamed,Come closer, and I’ll relieve you of all your favorite parts.

Running in Darling wasn’t like running in the city. I didn’t have to have an earbud out. I didn’t have to message someone else my route or when I was leaving the apartment and when I got home. I didn’t have to constantly be aware of my surroundings.

I’d been so in my own head that it didn’t really hit me that I’d run all the way back into town or that I was standing right across the street from the same man who’d come into Sunshine this morning.

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